@leftennant and I were just bemoaning the lack of rom coms out there in Hollywood and how it’s probably stimmying the careers of certain actors who would kill it in that niche.
This seems like such low hanging fruit being ignored. With relatively low budgets you can afford the occasional failure compared to the thud Justice League just made. If you picked a random group of ten women and asked them to brainstorm ideas they’d come up with solid ideas to be spun into box office gold.
Per example:
Kat Dennings is the quirky girl trekking across New Zealand following her lifelong love of all things Tolkein. She meets Chris Evans and dismisses him as a frat bro, but it’s love at first sight for him. Can he persuade her he’s the real deal?
Of course he can. I’m still buying a ticket to this.
Hayley Atwell has to resist the charms of Sebastian Stan for 30 days to win a million dollars. But if he can persuade her to kiss him, he wins the million dollars. Who’s going to win? Can she resist him?
Who gives a fuck, we know there’s going to be a kiss and they’ll split the money, just take my money already.
Daisy Ridley and Tessa Thompson are stranded in an airport during a blizzard and have nothing to do but get to know each other.
I don’t even need you to tell me the plot of this one, because I already booked my seat.
Tell me Tumblr–what rom com ideas would you like to see and who would star in them?
America Ferrera needs a date to her family’s insane holiday party, so she puts out an ad on Craigslist for a bad boyfriend, so they’ll never ask her about him again. Tom Hardy is the bad boy she hires. Only, he’s actually pretty sweet.
–
Marisa Tomei is doing great as a single mom. She just closed a huge deal at her job, and her kid is surprisingly chill for a teenager, from what she’s read. Enter: her ex, Gerard Butler, freshly transferred back to NYC from London, and still in love with her. Can she admit she’s still in love with him?
–
Matt Bomer hates visiting Middle America on his book tours, even though he loves his fans. That is, until he attends a panel discussion where the moderator is local celebrity writer, Channing Tatum.
I was talking about having them do a remake of Harry met Sally but with Melissa McCarthy as Harry and Mindy Kaling as Sally.
mads mikkelson: contemporary incarnation of aphrodite.
Idris Elba does yoga in very small shorts. No one cares about the plot.
Alternatively: Mads Mikkelson and Idris Elba. Something something…IDK we’re all going to watch it, aren’t we?
And this addition from @anais-ninja-blog which Tumbles is trying to eat:
Ewan MacGregor as the drama teacher at a private school in Manhattan who is feuding with but secretly pines for Chiwetel Ejiofor, the music teacher. Their school is undergoing a shift in curricula and there’s debate on the place of the arts, will they save their programs? Will they get together in the end? We all KNOW the answer is yes, but don’t you want to see it happen regardless?
Nicole Beharie and Tom Mison as bounty hunters after the same target. They have completely different styles and end up teaming up to bring their quarry down. Will they learn to get along, even fall in love?
I mean, did you see the chemistry they had together in Sleepy Hollow?
Aubrey Plaza inherits her free-spirited grandmother’s ‘67 Mustang. Eager for a change of scenery after a gnarly break up, she travels cross-country to pick it up and drive it home.
She gets more than she bargained for when she discovers that it’s haunted by Grandma’s ghost (Ellen Burstyn) and Grandma won’t rest until she gets her granddaughter some action.
When Grandma still hasn’t passed over, they set out for the Grand Canyon on the road trip of her dreams. A flat tire and a mysterious but helpful hitchhiker (Jason Momoa) later and something, something romance.
Working title: Granny’s Last Gas.
A successful attorney (Taraji P. Henson) wins surfing lessons in a charity raffle and after everyone she knows agrees that she could never do it, she decides that she’s got to learn.
Her instructor’s a washed up pro (Chris Hemsworth) with a fear of water after taking on more wave than he could handle in a catastrophe that nearly cost him everything.
After she’s challenged by a group of local punks to compete in an upcoming contest, Chris decides to face his fears and commits to helping her win.
They discover that they have more in common than they expected as her determination helps him to fall in love with surfing all over again.
Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds in a remake (again) of the Parent Trap.
–
Donald Glover is a bored, jaded former-wunderkind. Zoe Saldanais the enforcer sent to rough him up for using his skills against a mob-run casino. She completes her “errand,” but when he’s in the hospital, recovering, someone starts sending him complex math puzzles. The puzzles form a message.
–
Washed-up rock star Lee Pace has done everything, seen everything, fucked everything. His manager despairs, and begs him to attend a retreat in Sonoma, California. He goes to Sonoma, but never makes it to the retreat once he meets gregarious, no-nonsense pâtissier, Colin Farrell, and his irascible veterinarian wife, Julia Styles.
–
Michele Pfeiffer is a witch who accidentally gives a customer’s love potion to her downstairs neighbor, Michael Keaton. She doesn’t know that her apprentice, Saorise Ronan, messed up the batch, and it was a dud. Now he’s wooing her, and she thinks it’s all fake (except it’s totally working).
Paul Rudd and Ryan Reynolds play two hotshot detectives who hooked up at last year’s Christmas party. They swore that it would only happen once and that they’d keep things casual. Now that they’ve landed the case of their careers, they’ll have to work together and keep things professional or risk losing it all.
Rosario Dawson is a high-powered lawyer who doesn’t know when to take a break. After a health scare, her boss orders her to find a way to de-stress. She resents it, but when she meets doctor Lupita Nyong-o in her yoga class, she’s a little less resentful. Can they find room in their lives for love?
Betty White is an eccentric wealthy lady with no heirs. After her lawyer (Anne Hathaway) refuses to be her heir -“It would be totally unethical and unprofessional, Ms Holloway”-, she picks a random name from a phone book.
Since phone books aren’t a thing since 80′s, the person chosen is Aldis Hodge’s granma (Nichelle Nichols). He is a social activist (#blacklivesmatter #OccupyWallStreet) so he is not exactly happy being now part of the 1%.
Shenanigans ensue when the old ladies decide to play matchmakers.
(At some point we have Robbie Williams singing Everlasting Love accompanied by New York Philharmonic Orchestra on Central Park)
I think my favourite things about this post are all the different gender pairings, and all the different age pairings
Also, can someone link those posts about Dwayne Jonson and Vin Diesel the bakers / florists?
buddy cop movie with hayley atwell and idris elba as unlikely partners and dwayne the rock johnson AND Vin Diesel as the bakery owners who witnesses a violent crime in the alley behind hisTHEIR shop and have to be protected (OP source)
All of these are better than anything Hollywood has produced in years
Betty White and Nichelle Nichols as matchmaking grandmas? I… I didn’t know how much I needed to see this.
im never gonna stop thinking about the time i was standing in line for a hayley kiyoko concert in orlando and this guy walked by and said “damn, so many pretty girls in this line and no young men? maybe i should join you girls” and literally every woman in that line cracked up and said “wrong line pal”
Black lesbians so that the film doesn’t grossly whitewash jazz and the actual struggles black musicians went through 🙂
Consider: La La Land with black lesbians played by actresses who can actually sing and dance so instead of being a lack luster imitation of the golden age musical it is the sparkling revival of the genre with modern sensibilities.
it is pretty hard to find solid statistics on wolf attacks, but as far as i can tell, wolves in north america kill way way way less than one person a year, which means that forces more deadly to us than wolves include: dogs, ice fishing, and getting crushed by a falling flat screen tv.
…further complications to trying to write non-ridiculous angst into a werewolf story
“you don’t understand…i’ve done things under the full moon that i can never take back…one time i ate a squirrel”
“I SNIFFED MY OWN BUTT. THE INDIGNITY HAUNTS ME STILL.”
“i have pooped in the woods and now must go brood about it. don’t try to follow me.
…and seriously, be careful around your flatscreen, it is probably heavier that you think.”
European wolves (before they were hunted into extinction in most areas) attacked humans purposefully a lot; it’s in the historical record.
North American gray wolves have a natural fear of humans and attack people very rarely, really only when threatened or starving.
So like, imagine, like, a divide between people who got infected with Old World and New World lycanthropy. One makes you this dangerous beast that sees humans as a viable food source an another makes you perceive humans as a threat. Imagine people getting it wrong!
Some shady paranormal group capturing a werewolf to use as security but it just runs away when people trespass.
Some hunters go deep into the woods to murder a werewolf clan for their pelts but it turns out they’ve isolated themselves so deeply because they have the European strain and none of the hunters survive.
New werewolves are so confused because the websites give conflicting advice: get yourself to your nearest national park when you’re about to turn and just let yourself run free; if you try to cage yourself the claustrophobia and the smell of people will make you panic and you could really hurt yourself or someone else.
vs
If you’re anywhere near human civilization you must make sure you turn in a closed space that you can’t escape from in wolf form or you’ll definitely kill someone. Just try to take a nap during the full moon, OK.
And they’re like, WHAT DO I DO WHICH ONE DO I HAVE?
case in point, the global werewolf cultural divide!
on the subject of the global werewolf cultural divide, another update, per wikipedia:
Wolves from different geographic locations may howl in different fashions: the howls of European wolves are much more protracted and melodious than those of North American wolves, whose howls are louder and have a stronger emphasis on the first syllable. The two are however mutually intelligible, as North American wolves have been recorded to respond to European-style howls made by biologists (x)
Harry knows that Padfoot and his parents are worried, but very little of it trickles down to him. it can’t: he’s too excited.
his letter comes in the post, in July, a little after what he has started to think of as his old birthday.
(technically it is the newer of the two, but he didn’t know his original birthday until Padfoot told him, so now he has the birthday he was used to, at the beginning or July, and the one he apparently had all along but didn’t know, at the end.)
the letter is just like Padfoot said it would be: his name in bright green ink, we are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. please find enclosed–
but now he needs all sorts of things! robes, and a cauldron, and books with titles that sound a lot like some of the books he already has, except those books are just stories and these ones will be real. and, best of all: a magic wand.
so he and his mum and his dad and his Padfoot are going to Diagon Alley, in London, and they are meeting Moony in person, for real.
Harry has been trying to act a little more grown up, now that he’s a wizard and nearly eleven, but it’s proving extremely difficult when he is this excited.
Reblog for the morning crowd. soon: the train to Hogwarts.
This may be my favorite AU ever.
Imagine Sirius, well-groomed and sane, not trapped in his fucked-up childhood home.
Would Harry’s adoptive parents move in there when things became dangerous? Would Sirius make an aborted move to cover the screaming painting of his mother before watching numbly as Harry’s mother stepped forward and gave her a piece of her mind? They waited so long for children. So long, and to see parents who treat their children so abominably, well. Maybe they can’t help with the actual fight, but would they become caretakers/healers of Grimmauld place? Would it shine under their care, warm candlelight and laughter and the plushest of tea towels for Kreacher since they can’t technically buy him clothes?
Would Sirius insist on using cleaning charms because he can’t bear to see Harry’s mother (and possibly his own surrogate mother figure) exhaust herself trying to clean the place up? Maybe Kreacher would explain about Regulus when he was treated kindly. Maybe Sirius would take back the years stolen from him.
Harry’s loved and treasured and Draco is a screwed-up trust fund baby raised by an angry, thwarted Nazi who wouldn’t remind him of Dudley or Vernon at all because there’s no trauma to be re-triggered.
Just, dude, why are you so hostile and strange, and then he hears about Lucius Malfoy from Sirius and Harry’s parents reprimand Sirius for saying such terrible things about Draco because he’s a child, honestly, and look what Sirius grew up with.
This is such a lovely, hopeful AU and I adore it. I adore everything about it. Thank you for this this morning!!
reblogging for this lovely, lovely commentary. oh man. btw, I am officially in love with the idea of Tim and Caro tackling Grimmauld Place with the same DIY verve and spirit as they did their own house.
::flailing Kermit arms of joy::
I can’t stop thinking about an AU like this. What would Harry see in the Mirror of Erised, since he hasn’t been starving his whole life for loving parents?What happens when Tim and Caro meet Moony as a wolf the first time?
Since Harry hasn’t been isolated and abused, would Dumbledore have less of a hold on him?
Would Snape bother him as much? Would he have some hilariously well-adjusted response to Snape’s resentment while Sirius slinks in the shadows to avoid being recognized and make various plans to bite him?
“No, Padfoot, it’s not worth it. Mum says anyone who’s that angry is really sad deep down.” —Harry
“Sirius, you’re just going to get a mouthful of grease and regret.” —Remus
Is it weird to wanna write fan fiction of a not!fic?? 😂😂😂
“Mr. Black, I know exactly what you’re doing in my hallway and I do not approve in the slightest. That said, I expect I shall be quite engrossed in these papers for the next hour. Kindly keep the noise down.” —McGonagall
you should definitely write as much of this as you can manage.
(for the record: I think Harry still does see Lily and James in the Mirror. he doesn’t have a lot of extended family– Tim and Caro are both only children from small families– and he’s spent a lot of the last few years hearing stories about Lily and James. he *would* like to know them better, and once he knows the Weasleys he really loves the idea of a big, noisy, messy extended family.
so he sees Lily and James in the Mirror, and lots of his Potter relatives, as in canon. but also Petunia and Vernon– a version of them very unlike the real ones, not that he’d know– and various Evanses as well. And all the MacIntyre relatives he never got to meet, on top of that.
This are good defenses for LGBT+ SW characters from Star Wars Aftermath trilogy author. Thanks for @permian-tropos suggests me to make this easier to read.
“ALL OF STORYTELLING IS BY FORCE. NONE OF IT IS ORGANIC OR NATURAL. ALL OF IT ARE THINGS THE STORYTELLERS WILLFULLY CHOOSE AND IMPLEMENT.”
Elizabeth completely forgot to tell @flourish about this scene in our new Brooklyn 99 special episode, which was a grave mistake. Terry 100% leaves the greatest reviews on AO3.
Question of Smoke 