bramblepatch:

Twilight AU where Bella is rightly Creeped the Fuck Out by Edward rather than intrigued by him and, hoping to defuse the situation before it becomes a Thing, decides to talk to his “sister” about his behavior

What Bella knows about the fallout: Rosalie is out of school for a couple of days, and upon returning gives Bella a thumbs up from across the lunch room but offers no further explanation. Edward is absent from school for a couple of weeks, even when the rest of the Cullens are all there, and then carefully gives her space from then on out.

What Bella does not know about the fallout: Rosalie “Rapist Eater” Hale tore her surrogate brother’s arm off at the shoulder and beat him around the head with it while yelling “Don’t Stalk Girls” until Emmet and Jasper pulled her off of him and made her give the arm back.

originalhufflepuff:

edwardsgay:

if I was a vampire on the run from the volturi I would just. hide at the bottom of the fuckin ocean. the ocean is huge. who’s gonna look there? Demetri would look for me and he’d just see darkness and some plankton. like where is this bitch? idk u figure it out u old hoe. I’m somewhere in the fuck you region. good luck scouring the ocean floor, 80% of this planets surface, u dipshit. I drink the blood of the scary creatures down there. I’m chillin. check mate bitch

#everything about this is a masterpiece including the url