What I mean when I say “toxic monogamy culture”

kateordie:

nankingdecade:

  • the normalization of jealousy as an indicator of love
  • the idea that a sufficiently intense love is enough to overcome any practical incompatibilities
  • the idea that you should meet your partner’s every need, and if you don’t, either you’re inadequate or they’re too needy
  • the idea that a sufficiently intense love should cause you to cease to be attracted to anyone else
  • the idea that commitment is synonymous with exclusivity
  • the idea that marriage and children are the only valid teleological justifications for being committed to a relationship
  • the idea that your insecurities are always your partner’s responsibility to tip-toe around and never your responsibility to work on
  • the idea that your value to a partner is directly proportional to the amount of time and energy they spend on you, and it is in zero-sum competition with everything else they value in life
  • the idea that being of value to a partner should always make up a large chunk of how you value yourself

I think the kids are onto something here

This is so great and literally 99% the only place I see this challenged is in fic. Thanks internet, and all of the fic writers out there that challenge this–ilu. 

Most of mainstream media, please get a fucking clue. If it weren’t for some wonderful writing on the internet I would need a hell of a lot more therapy.