freifraufischer:

I’ve asked non-canon shippers why why choose their ship, and isn’t it frustrating to support a relationship that they never get to see on screen? The general answer has been that they HAVE to ship non-canon, b/c the relationships they want to see (usually LGBTQ relationships) aren’t represented by most shows. OK, fair enough. But I still didn’t really get it. I can honestly say that I’ve never sent hate to anyone for shipping non-canon – that’s not my style – but I didn’t really get it. (2/5)

I had a small light bulb moment recently, though. An anon sent hate to one of my shipmates over her fic, in which she portrayed the main female character as overweight. (The character is not overweight in canon.) Anon called the fic – and the character – gross and asked the writer why she would twist the character that way. I was indignant on behalf of my shipmate that she’d been insulted like that for a work of fiction, in which she should be able to express herself however she wants. (3/5)

Furthermore, as an overweight woman myself, I was infuriated that this anon implied that fat women have no place in romance stories. Don’t I have just as much right to see myself represented in fic, as the thin and conventionally beautiful women do? And that’s when I remembered all the comments from LGBTQ fans who ship non-canon couples and just want to see themselves on screen, and it clicked. (4/5)

I am NOT trying to say that these experiences are equivalent. I know that the LGBTQ community struggles more for representation than a straight, white, overweight woman. But this is the (very roundabout) way that I, someone who’s actually in fandom, came to understanding non-canon shipping a little better. So I’m not really surprised that the showrunners and casts of popular TV shows don’t get it. It’s very unfortunate that they don’t understand, but not surprising. (5/5)

It’s good that you found a way to understand this.  I do know that a lot of fandom doesn’t understand it either.  Especially when “boy slash” and femslash actually have different and basically unrelated subcultures.

I’d add two things for you.  The first is that often times the canon LGBT ships aren’t treated the same way as canon het ships.  There is never a will they wont they phase for us.  We are always told before the characters even appear on screen who the designated gay couple is and there will only be one of them so sucks for you if you don’t like them.  Could you imagine what your shipping experience would be like if you didn’t get a choice to about which elements of a couple you prefer or not.  Sucks to be you if you like the tropes around Captain Swan.  All you get on screen is Rumbelle.  And you have no hope of getting another couple.  LGBT ships are often less visibly affectionate.  A kiss is racey.  All this stuff about implied sex scenes that Once canon shippers are demanding?  Pipe dream for us even when we’re dealing with canon representation.  Oh… and time.  Straight people always seem to think the LGBT couple is on screen a lot longer than they actually are.  By something like 50%.  So we get no choice, a less full story, and half of it.  And that’s if you are shipping a canon LGBT couple.

Where as if you are shipping an non canon couple anything in the world is possible.  The other day I reblogged someone who said that fan fiction was the only place two women meet and immediately start flirting.  It’s the only place where no one has to have a coming out story or explain their gayness.  A non canon LGBT ship is literally the only way we can find the stories that are written equally to the ones you enjoy on screen because we write them ourselves.

Do I love canon LGBT couples?  Sure.  More of them please.  But let’s stop pretending that they’re equal or they should be enough.

And let’s stop treating non canon shippers like they’re naive fools.  No one needs you to tell them that their ship isn’t happening.  Even if they’re asking when it will be they’re having a fantasy life where they are safe and normal and they get to ask content creators when they’ll be getting something that you get given automatically.  Maybe the casts and the writers don’t want to be pestered.  But why are we prioritizing a minor annoyance over someone’s right to just have a tiny space to imagine that they might be safe and normal and accepted totally? 

So nonnie i’m going to leave you with a charge, you straight shipper, the next time you hear one of your ship mates say “well they’re just letting them down easy” or “telling them the truth” or “letting them know it wont happen” I’d like you to tell them to stop assuming they know better than the non canon lgbt shipper.

This is so great. I have a hard time describing how much canon queer ships–especially ones that I’m into–make such a huge difference to me. (NICE point about “you only get this one.”)

Short story–I’m so used to shipping things I KNOW will never happen that I was at the point where I thought this didn’t even bother me. I have fic, and that does a better job–many better jobs–than a lot of canon anyway. It was just a fact of life that I wasn’t going to get queer ships I cared about. Then I saw the Legend of Korra finale.

I can’t describe how that felt, seeing two characters who I liked, who had been around each other as friends for multiple seasons, who had a great friendship to start, who I SHIPPED, get together canonically. I was crying. It was the most… validating, uplifting feeling. I felt seen, I felt like I wasn’t crazy… it was incredible.

And I have no idea when I’m going to get to feel that way about a show/ship again.