im really losing my shit thinking about vulcan childrens music and television. who could forget such hits as “3 is an appropriate number” and “walking in the street could lead to maiming or death”
the vulcan equivalent of the wiggles is just 3 normally dressed individuals reciting multiplication tables in unison
Speaking as someone with very little knowledge of Star Trek – I’ve seen like three episodes from random versions and I read Spock’s World – I violently disagree with this.
Even before I had such minimal knowledge as I do now, I thought that “vulcan” was a very appropriate word for them. It’s not that they don’t have emotions, if anything they have more than humans, they just run hard and deep, like volcanoes. You don’t want that thing to erupt.
So I imagine vulcan children’s TV is much like Sesame Street. Here is a muppet with anger issues! He spilled his milk and it made him ANGRY!!! Here comes someone dressed in completely normal clothes to say yes, that was indeed unfortunate, but anger is an irrational response to such a thing and not in keeping with the teachings of Surak; let us now explore different forms of meditation as emotional control, one of which includes three normally dressed individuals reciting multiplication tables in unison.
Or something like Mr. Surak’s Neighborhood, where a calm and gentle Vulcan offers counsel and advice on how to manage stressful situations logically, how to work cooperatively together with others to make a better community and a better world, how to let anger and fear be warnings of danger or wrongness without allowing them to control you…puppets might be involved, as ways to illustrate emotional situations and demonstrate their proper management without requiring adult Vulcans to show unseemly emotions in public.
So not so different from what we had, really. Except that _their_ version of PBS would always be fully funded and teaching would be an elite, well-respected, well-paid profession- what could be a higher priority, in a logical world, than educating the young?
i like to think that my etymology party-piece lectures ( sarcasm-esophagus-sarcophagus-anthropology-anthropophagus-etc) would entertain vulcanlings.
TRUE STORY:
me: ok, so the root-word “chronos” means “time,” right? in greek mythology, kronos was a titan who ate his children. DO YOU GET IT? TIME EATS ITS CHILDREN. WE ARE ALL THE CHILDREN OF TIME, STUDENTS.
boy in front row, experiencing etymological epiphany: OH MY GOD *falls off chair* oh my god.
Me, on the internet: [experiences etymological epiphany] oh my gods
but really though “i can’t be a kirk in this house, if you can show me I’ll stay” defines so much of his character. for jim being a kirk means fighting and fucking and abandoning up until the very end of your short life. his life has been showing sam how to stay, but sam isn’t here anymore.
I’m SO ANGRY this was taken out! This explain the goddamned changes between AOS Kirk and TOS Kirk! TOS Kirk DID follow every rule, get good grades, and obey every order. It wasn’t until SO much later that he realized he didn’t have to. That sometime he could do better by not being who everyone told him to be.
AOS Kirk is an angry kid who isn’t following the rules to spite. He’s trying to live up to what a Kirk is through his brother’s eyes. But he only ends up hating the name because he can never seem to be enough for it.
TOS is James T. Kirk, passionate, but controlled, thoughtful and mature.
AOS is Jim Kirk, young, angry and living in the shadow of his own last name.
This one damned scene explains so much. This was an entirely different way of living. This isn’t just about his father dying. This is about when and how he realized he didn’t have to do the expected.
This is about WHY he became the reckless man we see in AOS.
This one tiny scene shows us a motive for the wildness of AOS’ Jim Kirk. This takes it out of the realm of “he’s young and doesn’t understand why he has to play by the rules.“
TOS Kirk ignores the rules because he knows they could be wrong, he knows it could make actions better.
AOS Kirk ignores the rules because he thinks he’s supposed to, he thinks it will make him better.
“the millenium falcon would wipe out the enterprise in seconds” lmao the enterprise is just an innocent science class floating thru space…. all they wanna do is look at some rocks… kiss an alien…. find some space plants….. why would you fight that its not a battleship theyre just nerds…… leave them olone
A friend of mine saw this and brought up some interesting arguments
so, in other words,
Pretty much.
here have some size comparison
Who wins in a fight, a fully staffed Navy research vessel or your local weed man and his best friend in their souped up VW Bus?
i will never be over the fact that during first contact a human offered their hand to a vulcan and the vulcan was just like “wow humans are fucking wild” and took it
Humanity’s first contact with Vulcans was some guy going “I’m down to fuck.”
Vulcans’ first contact with Humans was an emphatic “Sure.”
“sir…these…these humans…they greet each other by…” *glances around before furtively whispering* “by clasping hands…”
*prolonged silence* “oh my…”
“sir…sir how will we make first contact with them? surely we…we cannot refuse this handclasping ritual, they will take it as an insult, but what vulcan would agree to such a distasteful and uncomfortable ritual??”
*several pensive moments later* “contact the vulcan high command and tell them to send us kuvak. i once saw that crazy son of a bitch arm wrestle a klingon, he’ll put his hands on anything”
Elsewhere, w/ kuvak: “….my day has come.”
The vulcan who made first contact with humans is named Solkar guys. Y’all just be makin’ up names for characters that already have names.
Bonus: here’s a screencap of Solkar doing the “my body is ready” pose right before he shakes Zefram Cochrane’s hand:
I swear Vulcans only come in two types and they are “distant xenophobes” or “horny on main for humanity”. Also apparently this guy is Spock’s great-grandfather and frankly that explains everything.
Hey so I looked into this at one point and that handshake literally created a lifelong telepathic bond between the two of them, and basically all of Solkar’s descendants were later obsessed with humans, including freaking SPOCK, so I’m not saying that handshake was so gay and good that it created an intergenerational telepathic bond between Solkar’s descendants and humans, but I’m also not….not….saying that.
something i’m totally in love with about TOS is the color, like they didn’t HAVE to paint the transporter room purple, but somebody said ‘hey! this room COULD have a color! let’s give it one! let’s give it PURPLE!’ i hope the future is really like that.
Totally. I love the idea that in the future, the military is going to start painting everything lilac and then replace stiff, high-collared, beige/camo uniforms with a rainbow of loose velour and platform heels. I mean, I guess there’s nothing to camouflage yourself with in space, so everyone was just like “look we’d all be much more comfortable in our pajamas so lets just make that happen.“
Question of Smoke 