So I’ve seen a few posts about coffee and cafine but nothing about energy drinks. When was the last time you read the ingrediants when you drank it? I drink monster and know people who drink Red Bull and I have a feeling that what is in there would scare the shit out of aliens
The human Sandra was the only one in the rec room when Tøah entered, reclining in a drift-chair. Tøah nearly bounced off the floor when a snap-hiss sounded through the room. Fortunately, it was just a pressurized drink can that Sandra had opened.
“Greetings, Sandra.” As a trained diplomat and linguist, Tøah managed not to lisp the human ’s’ sound the way most atarrī did. “What’s that you’re drinking?” Tøah instantly regretted the question, since humans could and did consume almost everything.
“Oh, this?” Sandra’s accent, called “Southern” even though it had originated on a northern continent, did interesting things to the vowels of Interlac. “It’s an energy drink… It’s probably not safe for atari to drink, but you can check the ingredients.”
“Energy drink? Mostly starches and sugars, I presume?” Tøah gingerly accepted the can. It was black with an image of green claw marks. Creepy. She rotated the can to inspect the ingredient list, then spent a moment digging the translations from the her memory. “This– I– but–” [gulp, gasp] “Storm winds, this drink is mostly poison!”
Tøah hastily handed the can of metabolic toxins back to the human.
“Well, maybe it is for y’all,” Sandra sipped at the toxin concoction, “but I can’t hardly live without it.”
“What’s that?” A new voice next to her head made Tøah shriek and leap away, collapsing into a heap of disheveled blue feathers. She twittered away in dialect, cursing deathworlders human and jawuti alike for their ability to move silently without conscious effort.
Sandra and the newly arrived Jaka stared at Tøah with identical expressions of startlement. Under other circumstances the bugged eyes and slack jaws on the flat, oak-skinned human face and the blunt-muzzled jawuti with caramel fur would have amused her. Presently she was just trying to get her plumage in order.
“Uh,” Sandra spoke sideways to Jaka, “it’s a drink. Here, check the ingredients.”
Jaka used a pocket computer to translate the ingredients while Tøah reclaimed her dignity. She had just managed it when Jaka said “Oh! It’s an energy drink!” and Tøah tripped over nothing.
“You know- of course you know what energy drinks are.” Tøah grumbled. Deathworlders.
“Well yeah! The ingredients are different, being Terran and all, but the relevant chemicals are the same! May I?” Jaka quirked an ear at Sandra, who nodded. Tøah shivered as Jaka took a large drink, with every sign of enjoyment. “Hey, this is pretty good. What flavor is it?”
Sandra, busy digging in a pack, distractedly said “Original. I don’t think it’s based on any particular fruit. Ah!” She emerged from the pack with three other cans. “My sister sent me a couple cases of different flavors. Wanna help me compare ‘em, Jakjak?”
“Sure!”
Tøah retreated from the deathworlders and their poisons. Humans were too weird.
Yes, that is a mass-produced piece of cloth, stuffing and buttons. Yes, it is identical to thousands of other items. No, you can not get the human a new mass-produced piece of cloth, stuffing and buttons to fill the same function. Only this mass-produced item can fill the function.
The function is somewhat unclear.
The mass-produced piece of clothing, stuffing and buttons must always be in a place of honor in the living quarters. The mass-produced item is not allowed to be covered with other items or fall over. That is bad for the mass-produced piece of clothing, stuffing and buttons even though it is not physically harmed. Items indicating actual honors, such as certificates or medals, can be covered or fall down. That is acceptable.
If the mass-produced piece of clothing, stuffing and buttons has unacceptably fallen on the ground where it may be inadvertently nudged with one’s mobility appendages, that is very bad and disrespectful to the item. Apologies are required, but should be directed at both item and human. The item will not reply.
The human may engage the mass-produced piece of clothing, stuffing and buttons in conversation. Most mass-produced items lack the capability to make any sound, and those that were produced with the capability are limited to prerecorded generic comments not indicative of sentience. Furthermore, the mass-produced item is incapable of any other response type, including movement, radio wave transmission, or temperature manipulation. The human will not appear to notice.
Further study is being done to determine if there is another dimension of life humans are attuned to but have not recorded in the scientific literature.
Further study has revealed an arcane text that seems to reveal that the mass-produced piece of clothing, stuffing, and buttons does possess a certain level of life that can be enhanced by contact with a human. The document is suspected to be a taboo subject as every human approached on the matter burst into tears as soon as the subject was broached.
Question of Smoke 