all Bucky wanted to do was get some more tea and now this. Thanks a lot, Sam. You had to fuckin’ tell him, you ass.
Aggressively Progressive Steve Rogers is so what I’m here for.
STeve would unleash and be all “DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH WHOOPING COUGH SUCKS?! DO YOU?! DO YOU REALLY?! ARE YOU FUCKIN’ STUPID?! BUCKY, TELL THEM HOW I BROKE TWO RIBS! TELL THEM!”
Omg, new headcanon, Beleaguered Bucky Barnes being grabbed by the shoulders and practically lifted into camera view by Steve shouting about how Bucky needs to confirm some terrible illness because no one else is alive form that time to corroborate any of Steve’s claims. Bucky shyly telling the reporters that yes, Steve did indeed have that thing adn yeah it is dangerous and Steve jumping back into frame like “I told you! I TOLD YOU IT SUCKED SHUT UP JENNY MCCARTHY!”
“AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?! POLIO!”
“Steve you never had fucking polio-”
“YEA BUT IT STILL SUCKED! KNOW WHAT STOPPED IT?! VACCINES!”
“Oh my God, Steve.”
“I DIDN’T EVNENKNOW WHAT THAT SHOT WOULD DO TO ME BUT I TOOK IT!”
“Steve, that’s… That’s not really a good argument.”
“I DON’T CARE FOX NEWS NEEDS TO STOP USING MY IMAGE!”
im really losing my shit thinking about vulcan childrens music and television. who could forget such hits as “3 is an appropriate number” and “walking in the street could lead to maiming or death”
the vulcan equivalent of the wiggles is just 3 normally dressed individuals reciting multiplication tables in unison
Speaking as someone with very little knowledge of Star Trek – I’ve seen like three episodes from random versions and I read Spock’s World – I violently disagree with this.
Even before I had such minimal knowledge as I do now, I thought that “vulcan” was a very appropriate word for them. It’s not that they don’t have emotions, if anything they have more than humans, they just run hard and deep, like volcanoes. You don’t want that thing to erupt.
So I imagine vulcan children’s TV is much like Sesame Street. Here is a muppet with anger issues! He spilled his milk and it made him ANGRY!!! Here comes someone dressed in completely normal clothes to say yes, that was indeed unfortunate, but anger is an irrational response to such a thing and not in keeping with the teachings of Surak; let us now explore different forms of meditation as emotional control, one of which includes three normally dressed individuals reciting multiplication tables in unison.
Or something like Mr. Surak’s Neighborhood, where a calm and gentle Vulcan offers counsel and advice on how to manage stressful situations logically, how to work cooperatively together with others to make a better community and a better world, how to let anger and fear be warnings of danger or wrongness without allowing them to control you…puppets might be involved, as ways to illustrate emotional situations and demonstrate their proper management without requiring adult Vulcans to show unseemly emotions in public.
So not so different from what we had, really. Except that _their_ version of PBS would always be fully funded and teaching would be an elite, well-respected, well-paid profession- what could be a higher priority, in a logical world, than educating the young?
i like to think that my etymology party-piece lectures ( sarcasm-esophagus-sarcophagus-anthropology-anthropophagus-etc) would entertain vulcanlings.
TRUE STORY:
me: ok, so the root-word “chronos” means “time,” right? in greek mythology, kronos was a titan who ate his children. DO YOU GET IT? TIME EATS ITS CHILDREN. WE ARE ALL THE CHILDREN OF TIME, STUDENTS.
boy in front row, experiencing etymological epiphany: OH MY GOD *falls off chair* oh my god.
Me, on the internet: [experiences etymological epiphany] oh my gods
Ok but imagine someone finds out that some journalist for a gossip website is writing an article on Kara and the DEO tries but they can’t get access to it and they’re all freaking out thinking it’s a Supergirl reveal and the article comes out titled ‘Who the hell is Kara Danvers?’ And it’s got a series of photos of her with Clark Kent and Lois Lane, her following after Cat Grant and interacting with Maxwell Lord. There are pictures from her college internship working at Wayne Enterprises – including candids of her eating lunch with the elusive Bruce Wayne himself. There’s a photo from years ago when she met Diana Prince while visiting Clark. A picture of her and Lena Luthor sitting close, leaning in to each other and whispering. There are excerpts of her quotes from supergirl, someone she seems to know personally.
At no point does the article mention her possibly being supergirl. It only talks about how this seemingly plain, average 20-something from a coastal small town is somehow connected to many of the most powerful and influential people from coast to coast. And thanks to the DEOs attempts to get the article before it’s published, there’s an editorial addition at the end that says after announcing plans to write on the reporter, their servers were attacked and nearly hacked in to in an attempt to stop its publication.
“So I ask you,” the article ends, “who exactly is this Kara Danvers?”
i love this and i want More
Someone fic this please.
Who the Hell is Kara Danvers?
If you visit Kara Danvers’ personal social media profiles, you’ll mostly find cat videos, pictures of lovingly crafted lattes from Noonan’s cafe, and selfies with her sister, Alex, captioned with a hashtag of whatever show they were binging when they took it. You’ll learn she’s a native of Midtown, and an alumnus of National City University, with a degree in business management. You’ll learn she’s a twenty-six year old staff writer for Catco Magazine.
On her professional accounts, you’ll find links to all her writing – a small but growing body of work mainly concerned with alien rights advocacy and L Corp’s rebranding in National City and generosity – and opinionated statements on human rights. You’ll find fond comments from James Olsen, Pulitzer winning photojournalist and head of Catco Worldwide Media, Catco staff photos featuring rare smiles from editor Snapper Carr, and a selfie with the Queen of All Media herself on Cat Grant’s last day at the Catco offices. Given Kara Danvers has been a Catco employee for four years, this might be expected.
If you visit Kara Danvers’ tagged photos, you’ll find selfies and candids with world renowned journalists Lois Lane and Clark Kent. Not pictures from an official visit to a rival news outlet across the country. Personal, affectionate photos of the Kent-Lanes in their home. With Kara Danvers. You’ll find a picture, taken by Clark Kent, of United Nations ambassador Diana Prince, a long time friend of the Kent-Lanes, with an -at the time – college aged Kara Danvers, Prince giving her a friendly kiss on the cheek.
If you go deeper down this rabbit hole, into paparazzi photos, you’ll find close to a hundred unique shots of Kara Danvers with the otherwise extremely private Lena Luthor. You’ll find them in public cafes, outside theatres, and walking out of bars. Close enough to reach out and touch, frequently laughing and beaming at one another. You’ll find shots of her outside Wayne Enterprises in Gotham with enigmatic billionaire Bruce Wayne, his arm around her shoulders as they duck into a BMW with tinted windows. Shots of her at public events tailing Cat Grant, chatting casually with Maxwell Lord.
And if you read Kara Danvers’ writing, you’ll find dozens of quotes from National City’s hero, Supergirl. These quotes seem off the cuff, casual in a way no other journalist has been able to coax out of the blonde Kryptonian, who has been noted in interviews with Cat Grant, Snapper Carr, and other acclaimed journalists to be somewhat tight lipped and cautious with the press. Supergirl currently has no known contact methods for the general public, but after every crisis, she is ready with an opinion and an encouraging statement… As long as it’s Kara Danvers’ name on the byline.
And finally, when this article was announced – privately, amongst our sites editors and writers – my editors and I began to receive cryptic threats from an untraceable source. They persisted for this piece’s entire development cycle, culminating on an attack on our servers that still has our site reeling. The only reason this article survives was that, by chance, I had made a hard copy for editing the night before.
Question of Smoke 