deadmomjokes:

I know cats have a stigma of being evil little robots who care for nobody but themselves. I don’t deny that there are some out there like this. But in defense of the large majority of darling cats who have been given a bad name due to the wicked few, I would like to tell you a story…

I am asthmatic. I’m not as bad as some; my asthma is generally well-controlled, and I don’t have much trouble with it on a daily basis. However, as all asthmatics know, getting sick becomes a nightmare. Even a small cold can turn into a days-long asthma attack, one that is very painful, and very annoying for me and those around me. The asthma cough sounds like an ill seal at best, or an angry moose with a nasal condition at worst. Y’all with asthma, and y’all with asthmatic friends, know exactly what I’m talking about. The bark. The hack. The Cough Heard Round The World. It’s painful, it’s loud, and it doesn’t stop. Even the rescue inhaler can only do so much to calm it. It just has to run its course with the cold.

Well, this week I caught the crud, and in the past few days it deteriorated into The Cough. Last night, I took some NyQuil to try and stave it off for as long as I could, just to try and get some sleep. That meant that for a few hours, I was cough-free. After that, I was still doped up enough to sleep through some of it. However, by 2am the sleep aid had worn off and The Cough woke me up. Since lying down makes it worse, and I didn’t want to wake my sister, I sneaked out of my bedroom into the living room, where I sat on the recliner and proceeded to hack up a lung while I waited for my next dose of NyQuil to kick in. That is when I noticed Simon.

Simon is a Russian Blue with a masterful resting-witch-face and an attitude to match. She (yes, she’s a girl, that’s another story) is old, fat, proprietary, and attitudinal. She isn’t shy about telling you when she is displeased, and does so with a loud shriek and some teeth or claws thrown in. She is convinced she owns the place, and owns all of us in turn. She is particular about where you can pet her, like most cats; and, like most cats, she loves her sleep and hates to be woken up.

And of course, my hacking woke her up.

Attempting to whisper an apology in between bouts of coughing, I noticed she was getting off her perch atop the chair nearby. She stretched, made a little squeaking sound, and trotted over to me.

I expected her to demand petting as payment for having woken her precious sleep, but she did not. Instead, this traditionally cranky dragon of a cat did something that amazed me.

She began to purr loudly, and sat herself directly on my aching chest. She kneaded my sternum softly, and nosed my chin as if to say, “I’ve got this, you sleep.” Even though I was still coughing, and bouncing her horridly in the process, she remained settled on my chest right above my diaphragm, purring loudly so that it vibrated through my ribs. I don’t know what magic spell she was chanting between her boat-like purrs, but within minutes my cough had subsided and I was able to sleep.

I didn’t wake up until about 4:30. When I did, it was to discover that my lap and chest were devoid of Simon’s presence, and I was coughing again. As I started coughing once more, I heard her familiar “I’m here” squeak from the area of the water dish. I heard some hurried lapping, and then her heavy gallop across the floor. She flumped onto my lap again, and resumed her purring and kneading. She had evidently been doing that for the past 2 hours, and had only left to get some water. Hydrated, she had returned to take care of me.

So yes, she has her share of evil, jerk-cat moments, but I can no longer pretend that Simon is entirely heartless. For that matter, I now refuse to believe that about any cat. Just because they act like a jerk doesn’t mean that they don’t love you.

jackironsides:

deadmomjokes:

katiethecumberbabe:

muldertorture:

sarahsupastar:

asuna-tan:

deadhpool:

the curse of the black pearl vs at world’s end

I love this because you have Elizabeth who couldn’t even defend herself in the first one to becoming this master sword fighter and leader of ALL pirates. You watch Will who was just this angsty little brat head over heels for Elizabeth become this grown man who faced all his demons.

and then there’s Jack

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“Elizabeth who couldn’t even defend herself”

Do you mean…

Elizabeth who improvised a weapon when pirates invaded her bedroom

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Elizabeth who could have run for the exits but instead went straight for the swords

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Elizabeth who demanded to speak with a pirate captain and then used the leverage she had to get him to agree to her demands

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Elizabeth who CAME AT BARBOSSA WITH A GODDAMN KNIFE and then fucking STABBED HIM when she couldn’t get away

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Elizabeth who was trapped on a tiny island with nothing but crates of rum and a man she couldn’t stand and who used those supplies to summon a rescue party for herself

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Elizabeth who made a rope out of sheets and climbed down the back of a ship to save the day herself when no one would listen to her about how dangerous the pirates were

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Elizabeth who snuck onto the Black Pearl, knocked two cursed pirates straight off their ship, and rescued Jack’s entire crew

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Elizabeth who rowed straight back into danger without any backup instead of running away with everyone else

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Elizabeth who came to Will’s rescue with a blunt object and a one-liner

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Elizabeth who proceeded to team up with Will to take down all the remaining pirates in the cave

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Elizabeth who – without being asked or told what was going on – faked unconsciousness to create a distraction for Will’s rescue of Jack

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Elizabeth who stepped in front of a ring of muskets, successfully protecting Jack and Will from being shot or captured

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Elizabeth may have learned some impressive sword tricks in the later movies, but she was a Badass from day one.

preach

Elizabeth Swann is a queen.

Don’t smack-talk Liz when it’s not her fault her dad is an effete nobleman who doesn’t even have real swords on the wall

1nkblots:

thebaconsandwichofregret:

crystalesbian:

neverdoubtthewankershim:

lazebian:

i am sincerely sorry to all bi women, but especially bi latina women, that your only form of concrete representation in mainstream media is in cop propaganda

Did you just call brooklyn nine nine, a show that features a black main character who gets stopped by the police for no reason, cop propoganda?

yeah they sure did!

on the one hand I’m glad that Brooklyn 99 is now popular enough to get bullshit “Discourse” directed at it but on the other hand…

…fuck off! Brooklyn 99′s message isn’t “Hey cops aren’t so bad!” Brooklyn 99′s message is “Cops aren’t like this, but they should be.”

They even, in the same episode as the one mentioned above, explicitly state that the 99 precinct is uniquely good in comparison to other precincts specifically because the black gay man who’s in charge, and has been discriminated against literally since he set foot in the precinct for the first time, made it that way. And that his entire career goal is to continue rising through the ranks not for his own gain but so that he can change police culture for the better.

allofthefeelings:

cheesethesecond:

Here’s something I wanna say real quick, while I’m feeling salty: Amazon has totally contributed to the devaluation of literature. Those prices you see, the $13 they’re asking you to pay for a hardcover book? Those are deep, DEEP discounts that they’re able to implement because they don’t collect sales tax if they can get away with it, they don’t contribute money to the communities where they have a physical presence, they have shitty labor practices, Jeff Bezos has more money than god, etc. 

(Read this report from the Institute for Self-Reliance if you really want to get into how they’re hurting the economy.)

They’re so omnipotent at this point that they’ve normalized the discounted prices for books as the standard. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had someone come up to me and tell me what the price on Amazon is, expecting me to match it. The number of times I’ve been told, “Oh, it’s cheaper on Amazon, I’ll just get it there.” Even at author events, where book sales DIRECTLY CONTRIBUTE to whether or not that bookstore will be able to get more authors in.

So when you go into a bookstore, and you’re asked to pay $27 for a hardcover, remember: THAT IS THE COVER PRICE. Set by the publishers. The bookstore is not upcharging you. They are asking you to pay the value of the book. Amazon’s low prices come with a cost. Please, just keep that in mind. 

(I made a post with options for buying books online that aren’t Amazon. Check it out!)

This is a great post, and I just want to point out: publishers aren’t upcharging you either.

The cost of the book is the advance for the author, it’s the salaries for all the people who work on it (including editors, yes, but also designers and marketers and publicists and lawyers and accountants and everyone else who makes sure publishing works). It’s the cost of printing the books and the materials to print those books on and the warehouses to store those books in.
It’s keeping the literal lights on.

No one in the book business, from the author to the publisher to the bookseller, is making themselves rich off your money. This is the cost to survive. Amazon is running at a deficit because they can make up the cost with other things they do, and because once they run everyone else out of business, they’ll be the only game in town and can charge whatever they damn well please.

thor-20:

smarmyanarchist:

stuckuptumblercunt:

smarmyanarchist:

smarmyanarchist:

god im just thinking about how much going to public school in the MCU would’ve made me hate captain america. every time i got caught giving some bitch the finger or writing on bathroom walls or ditching class or stealing books from the library cause i got a fine or what have you, and then they gave me lunch detention or ISS and i sat in that dumbass eraser-smelling room and im in My Chair (the chair i always sit in and yell at anyone else who tries to take it), fuming, arms crossed, full of teen angst and hating everyone around me, and AGAIN had to watch this stupid fucking video ive already seen so many times that i know it by heart and every word grates on my eardrums and i’d just see this fuckin familiar face

and i would be ready to LOSE MY SHIT

Villain Origin Story

god imagine Steve giving Peter his Captain America is Disappointed in You face/lecture over something dumb and Peter just fucking dissociating and zoning back in to “Peter! Are you even listening to me???” and looking him in the eye and being like “I’m completely immune at this point. You can’t even touch me.” and walking the fuck away

canon.

the real reason why Peter agreed to fight cap at the airport