poppyssupergirl:

Lena deals with panic attacks

This was beta-ed by the absolutely amazing and fabulous @rtarara . She is the best. 

You can read this on AO3

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Sometimes everything is too much. It claws up her throat, grasping at her tongue. Her heart beating in her chest slipping till it’s the only sound in her ears. Then the images start, slow and steady, until there’s an unending cascade, spilling, spilling across her eyes.

They bend her forward, those images, spiraling, spiraling until her head’s between her knees. Her throat closes, she can’t breathe. Tiny gasps through clenched teeth as the faces of her family play out across her eyelids.

Lex, Lex, Lex, that manic look in your eyes, “We’ll kill them all”

The voices come one after another, overlapping so it’s hard to make out each individual sound. They scream and whisper things that should never be said.

Mother, mother why? “You were never a Luthor to begin with, only a tool, a broken one at that.”

She rocks forward and back, her hands pressed to her ears. Her heartbeat hammers against her fingertips and she traces those faces with closed eyes.

She can see them coming for her, she can hear every footstep, can feel every breath against the back of her neck. She doesn’t scream; just breathes and feels as she rocks on her heels.

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