Tag: LOL

vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

I think a lot about who I am to other people in the world–particular who I am to strangers as a mere concept in their lives.

Today this woman called our information desk and said, “my son’s band is playing tonight. I want to come see him, but he never answers his phone…..I want to be there. Have you heard anything about his band?”

And I felt so bad for this lady but I’m not in the music scene around here so I had to tell her no, sorry.

Five hours later, I’m hiking and run into a group of guys setting up for some outdoor performance, and as I watch them unload the drums it hits me.

“Hey,” I said, “are y’all in a band?”

They said yeah and smiled and I told them “one of your moms called today. She wants to watch you play, but she can’t get a hold of you. Call your mom.”

And they all pulled out their phones and started discussing whose mom it probably was as they presumably dialed their own.

And now, unless we meet again and recognize each other, that’s who I’ll be forever to those guys–some mysterious courier for mom-messages who came out of the woods and told them their mom called.

I didn’t even tell them why their mom called me. Who am I to their mom?? Nobody even asked. They just took my word for it and called their mothers.

Amazing.

I’M LAUGHING!!! THEY DIDN’T EVEN ASK WHO I AM.

bemusedlybespectacled:

quietlyglittering:

bemusedlybespectacled:

okay so I know that the reason there’s a “stark tower” in the MCU is because in 2012 no one knew that “guy with big new york tower with his name on it” was going to have different connotations in fewer than ten years, but I choose to believe that it’s because donald trump just straight up doesn’t exist in the MCU

They have superheroes and no Trump? They must be living in the Good Place

pros of living in the MCU:

  • superheroes
  • no Trump
  • Wakanda exists
  • a rich white billionaire invented clean, renewable energy and shared the tech with everyone
  • Thor is real and currently single

cons of living in the MCU:

  • constant threat of alien invasion
  • ???

i recently found out spiders can’t stand peppermint and all i could think about was peter finding out one day that he’s inherited that part of being a spider after trying to eat something peppermint flavored

whyistomholland:

taylortut:

tony: hey, want a stick of gum?

peter: sure! *puts the gum in his mouth, then expressionlessly opens his mouth and lets the gum fall onto the floor* 

tony:

peter: what the fuck was that

I’m crying

evilsupplyco:

olofahere:

evilsupplyco:

Sometimes you are the haunted lighthouse keeper shouting into the storm, calling the waves to rise higher, to crash upon the ships that dare approach your domain.

Sometimes you are the storm

If you are calling on the storm to crash ships, as a lighthouse keeper you are very bad at your job.

I work for those that lurk below the waves, not those that tresspass upon them.