Tag: i love this so much

wrathofthestag:

therealfeedback:

sperari:

foundloveinbudapest:

obsessiforge:

bluandorange:

so I’ve got this headcanon that Guardians of the Galaxy is really the Avengers playing a table top roleplaying game, where Bucky’s the DM who suffers through heaps and loads of trolling 

Mostly from Steve

Especially from Steve

Which means Natasha was the one who sat down and wrote out the long, comprehensive backstory for her kickass space assassin Gamora, that Bucky keeps trying to work into the campaign but they keep getting sidetracked by –

Tony who just created what he sees himself as – the suave, wise-cracking space vagabond.

Thor who needed a lot of help building his character and decided on a couple easy to remember traits (Strong, honor, doesn’t get metaphors)

and Bruce who’s actually too busy to pay full attention so any time Bucky asks what he wants to do he just says “I am Groot” and lets Steve decide

Oh my god.

Headcanon accepted so hard

“We need to break out of this prison. Bucky, do I know anything about it?”

“Roll knowledge, Steve.”

“Seventeen.”

“From your years of experience and multiple prison escapes, you believe that if you can get one of the prison guard’s security bands to get into the watchtower, and one of the power cells to overload the security systems, you should be able to pull off an escape.”

“Perfect. Nat, you have sleight of hand trained, right?”

“Yes I do, Steve.”

“Alright, you get the wristband. Bruce, grab the power cell.”

“Yeah, sure, I am Groot.”

“Even in a board game, boy scout has to give the orders, huh?”

“Alright Tony, what’s-”

“Excuse me, my name Star Lord, thank you.”

“…Alright, Star Lord. What’s your plan?”

“Well…Bucky?”

“Knowledge, Tony.”

“…Four.”

“You’ve never been in prison before, so you have no idea. You think Rocket’s plan makes sense though.”

“Alright, fine. What do you want me to do, Captain Raccoon?”

“Only the most important for you, Space King. Bucky, does anyone in the prison have a robotic arm?”

“I swear if you’re going where I think you’re going with–”

“Okay, leg. Robotic leg, not arm.”

“Yes, there is one guy with a prosthetic leg.”

“Tony I want you to get me that guy’s leg.”

“…Why?”

“Just trust me, we need it for the plan.”

“Bucky, can I sense motive on Rocket?”

“Go ahead.”

“…These dice are weighted.”

“What?”

“What’d you get, Stark?”

“One.”

“Not only do you believe that Rocket needs the leg, you believe it is the single most important part of the plan. Without that leg, everything will fall to pieces.”

“Okay, fine, I’ll get the leg.”

“Perfect. Avengers, let’s get to work.”

“Removing the power cell will set off the alarm, so you believe you should start with–”

“I go remove the power cell.”

“…Bruce, that’s…not a good idea. Like I said, ripping that out will set off the alarm.”

“Right, exactly, sounds like fun. I go to rip it out.”

“But…but I spent all week coming up with persuasion and stealth scenarios for–-”

“This is what, a strength check?”

“…Yes Bruce, it’s a strength check.”

“I got a 20.”

“…You rip out the power cell with a single tug, setting off the alarm and alerting every single guard in the prison to your escape attempt. Roll for initiative, and remember that I hate all of you.”

@disraeligearsgoestumblin

thegalacticindex:

demonic-priest:

Energy drinks

So I’ve seen a few posts about coffee and cafine but nothing about energy drinks. When was the last time you read the ingrediants when you drank it? I drink monster and know people who drink Red Bull and I have a feeling that what is in there would scare the shit out of aliens

The human Sandra was the only one in the rec room when Tøah entered, reclining in a drift-chair. Tøah nearly bounced off the floor when a snap-hiss sounded through the room. Fortunately, it was just a pressurized drink can that Sandra had opened.

“Greetings, Sandra.” As a trained diplomat and linguist, Tøah managed not to lisp the human ’s’ sound the way most atarrī did. “What’s that you’re drinking?” Tøah instantly regretted the question, since humans could and did consume almost everything.

“Oh, this?” Sandra’s accent, called “Southern” even though it had originated on a northern continent, did interesting things to the vowels of Interlac. “It’s an energy drink… It’s probably not safe for atari to drink, but you can check the ingredients.”

“Energy drink? Mostly starches and sugars, I presume?” Tøah gingerly accepted the can. It was black with an image of green claw marks. Creepy. She rotated the can to inspect the ingredient list, then spent a moment digging the translations from the her memory. “This– I– but–” [gulp, gasp] “Storm winds, this drink is mostly poison!”

Tøah hastily handed the can of metabolic toxins back to the human.

“Well, maybe it is for y’all,” Sandra sipped at the toxin concoction, “but I can’t hardly live without it.”

“What’s that?” A new voice next to her head made Tøah shriek and leap away, collapsing into a heap of disheveled blue feathers. She twittered away in dialect, cursing deathworlders human and jawuti alike for their ability to move silently without conscious effort.

Sandra and the newly arrived Jaka stared at Tøah with identical expressions of startlement. Under other circumstances the bugged eyes and slack jaws on the flat, oak-skinned human face and the blunt-muzzled jawuti with caramel fur would have amused her. Presently she was just trying to get her plumage in order.

“Uh,” Sandra spoke sideways to Jaka, “it’s a drink. Here, check the ingredients.”

Jaka used a pocket computer to translate the ingredients while Tøah reclaimed her dignity. She had just managed it when Jaka said “Oh! It’s an energy drink!” and Tøah tripped over nothing.

“You know- of course you know what energy drinks are.” Tøah grumbled. Deathworlders.

“Well yeah! The ingredients are different, being Terran and all, but the relevant chemicals are the same! May I?” Jaka quirked an ear at Sandra, who nodded. Tøah shivered as Jaka took a large drink, with every sign of enjoyment. “Hey, this is pretty good. What flavor is it?”

Sandra, busy digging in a pack, distractedly said “Original. I don’t think it’s based on any particular fruit. Ah!” She emerged from the pack with three other cans. “My sister sent me a couple cases of different flavors. Wanna help me compare ‘em, Jakjak?”

“Sure!”

Tøah retreated from the deathworlders and their poisons. Humans were too weird.