At first Kara seems unaffected by her pregnancy. No nausea,
no aches or pains or inconvenient mood swings. Of course she credits it all to
her superior kyptonian genetics. No way she is going to be effected by
something as trivial as reproductive biology. Everyone nods sagely and agrees,
because they’ve all heard Alex bitching about how unfair it is that Kara was
genetically engineered for perfection, so it all makes sense.
Except for Alex. She doesn’t believe a word of it. She knows
Kara, she listened to Kara’s stories about growing up on Krypton and about
codex and the birthing chambers. She knows Kal-El was the first natural birth
in millennia, she knows how scandalous it was and she remembers Kara’s stories
about how Laura suffered through her pregnancy. She also knows what Kara looks
like when she is in denial and she can see her kryptonian is swimming in it.
When Alex tries to warn the others they don’t believe her,
because clearly Kara knows better, she is the kryptonian after all. Her ‘wanna
bet?’ becomes lots of bets, lots and lots of bets, at the DEO, CatCo, the alien
bar, everywhere. And Kara is so calm and unfazed that no one can believe that
she’ll end up hormonal, so they take the bets. But Alex knows Kara, and she
knows it’s only a matter of time, so she racks up the bets. Vasquez is the only
one who wont touch the bet, she knows better than to discount Alex when it
comes to Kara, she makes a few modest bets herself and uses her winnings for a
great baby present. Alex almost ashamed by how much money she is going to make,
but with a half kryptonian bun in Kara’s oven she knows their food bills are
going to go through the roof and her winnings are going to make a good start.
And then it happens, Kara wakes in the middle of the night
and she can hear a noise. A soft, soothing, rhythmic noise. It takes an
embarrassingly long time for her to realise it’s her baby’s heart beat, but
when she does, the wall crumbles and she is hit by the feels. All of the feels!
Alex is woken by the subsequent scream of “Holy Rao, I’m pregnant!” and spends
the rest of the night comforting Kara through the waves of tears, joy and panic
as reality sets in.
The next day the morning sickness hits with a vengeance,
quickly followed by mood swings and cravings and all the other stereotypical
symptoms. Kara is mortified at being a slave to her biology after all, but
people learn pretty quickly not to bring it up because, oh my god kryptonian
mood swings are scary. ‘Do not piss off the pregnant alien with heat vision’
becomes the new, unofficial, super-friends & DEO mantra.
Kara spends a lot of time painting and drawing, mainly scenes of krypton & her family. She has never been able to paint her family before, but now she finds it helps her feel closer to those she lost, and having their pictures on the wall makes it feel like they are somehow involved in the pregnancy. She also designs some kryptonian styled baby clothes which Winn makes for her. Clark gets the designs for traditional baby furniture from Kelex & the Jor-El A.I. and uses his farm boy skills to make them.
The clash when J’onn & Alex benched Supergirl has become
a DEO legend, but all known CCTV & sound recordings have been destroyed. No
one mentions it anywhere near the three of them, and they have learned the hard
way not to talk about it when Supergirl in on base (yes, her hearing really is
that good – see note about not pissing off the pregnant alien with heat vision).
Things calm down by the third trimester and the last few
months are relatively smooth sailing again, though she does burst into tears
every time she hears about a cat caught in a tree & they won’t let her go
save it because Supergirl has been benched. Luckily J’onn is completely wrapped
around her fingers by this stage and he becomes very good at saving wayward
animals on her behalf. (The teary relieved look and the hug he gets when he returns
makes it all worth it.)
Kara is inconsolable when her pregnancy makes the taste of
pot stickers change. At first she is sure that the shop changed the recipe and
Supergirl makes a personal appearance at the store to make them change it back.
They swear black & blue they haven’t changed a thing, & all the super
friends agree they still taste the same to them. There is a bit of muttering
about inferior human tastebuds, but she can tell the cook is telling the truth.
She is still half convinced that she is being pranked until Alex orders
potstickers from every store in National City and she realises they all taste
equally weird and has to admit she is the one that has changed.
Lena & Cat try to cheer her up by taking her on tours of
the city’s food outlets, ordering one of everything on the menu so she can find
some new favourites. Kara knows they are really just trying to get some veggies
& other healthy food into her, but the baby is making her hungry enough to
go along with it. She’s ends up horrified when her new favourite turns out to
be a vegetarian dish… With tofu! ‘Oh my Rao Alex, I’m eating tofu, this kid has
destroyed my tastebuds, please kill me now!’ Alex thinks it is hilarious and mocks
her about it at any opportunity. It’s also a great chance to resurrect her
childhood tease about Kara being part sun loving plant and calls her a cannibal
for eating her photosynthesis brethren. Alex gets very good at dodging pillows, and spends a lot of money on apology ice cream. At least pizza still tastes good.
One of the first things Alex did after learning Kara was
pregnant was enrolling in a massage class. By the time the muscle aches and
pains kick in Alex is a master and her magic massages have saved her from a melted face more than once. That, plus the line of kyrptonian proof toys and baby
products she (and Winn) have been making mean that she can get away with a lot
more than anyone else. Alex likes to think that her lifetime’s experience with
Kara’s puppy dog eyes has given her some level of resistance, but Kara knows a
little bit of bottom lip wobble, combined with a ‘for the baby’ will get her
just about anything she wants.
The Bachelor: Vietnam – Contestant confesses to another contestant
I made this to highlight Minh Thu’s bravery and that it happened at all, whatever the result, and I know a LOT of people had things to say, about how it was faked or how it was ruined for them when they found out Truc Nhu continued on the show.
Kara Danvers totally makes an appearance on Sesame Street as Supergirl
Kara as Supergirl, with Elmo and Grover and Big Bird (definitely with Big Bird) talking about how to deal with bullies.
Kara in her suit and and cape with that smile on her face that makes people smile back whether they meant to or not and kids trust her instantly, talking about adoptive families and getting along with your siblings. And no she can’t say who her adoptive family here on earth is, because they need to stay safe but she can talk about how much she loves them, just like she still loves her biological family even though she misses them every day. She can talk about the times it was hard fitting in with a new family and how sometimes someone might say something hurtful (and how sometimes that someone was her) but how family means talking and forgiveness and understanding and love whether you were born into it, or you found each other (and maybe she goes home that night and she and Alex don’t talk they just hug tighter than usual and Alex’ eyes are suspiciously shiny when she steals the remote).
Kara with her chin up and her shoulders squared and her voice not shaking at all (J’onn gives her a nod when she comes back to the DEO and a quiet “good job, Supergirl,” that means everything) talking about being far from home and trying to adjust to a new culture and a new language and how it hurt when people made fun of her and how they live in a big world where a lot of people have to leave their homes sometimes for very bad reasons and how sometimes all it takes is someone holding out their hand and saying “you can sit with us at lunch” to make things a little better.
Kara kissing Elmo on the top of his head and Elmo giggling, and then floating up to hug Big Bird so he doesn’t have to bend down.
Kara definitely being invited back.
Kara and Sesame Street
Reblogging again for the heartbreaking commentary. The Sesame Street episode I never knew I always needed.
I consider it canon that in the universe where Supergirl and Superman are real, the Muppets are real also, and Superman has sung ‘Rainbow Connection’ with Kermit at least twice.
If Cthulhu can be summoned by humans who are so far beneath it, why can’t humans be summoned by ants? The answer is they should be.
Well if a bunch of ants formed a circle in my house I’d certainly notice, try to figure out where they’d all come from, and possibly wreak destruction there.
That’s why knowing and correctly pronouncing the true name is so important to the ritual. Imagine how impossible it would be to not go take a look if the circle of ants started chanting your name.
And they’re like, you can’t leave because we drew a line made of tiny crystals – now you have to do us a favor.
And you’re like, let’s just see where this goes “yup, you got me… what’s the favor?”
and usually the favor is like, “kill this one ant for us” or “give me a pile of sugar” and you’re like… okay? and you do, because why not, it isn’t hard for you and boy is this going to be a fucking story to tell, these fucking ants chanting your name and wanting a spoonful of sugar or whatever.
And SOMEtimes you get asked for things you can’t really do, one of them, she’s like, “I love this ant but she won’t pay any attention to me, make me important to her” and you’re like… um? how? So you just kill every ant in the colony except the two of them, ta-da! problem solved! and the first ant is like *horrified whisper* “what have I done”
This is the best explanation for higher powers I’ve ever really heard.
another weird thing about beer is that it has weird masculinity connections to it. “ya i’ll get a beer, i don’t want none of them girly drinks” Jimothy, you’re drinking wheat juice with a 5% alcohol content and my mixed, fruity, “girly” drink is 40% alcohol and tastes great
O.KAY *CRACKS KNUCKLES* I AM ABOUT TO GIVE YOU AN EDUCATION
BEER IS TRADITIONALLY A WOMAN’S DRINK, IT IS THE MOST FEMALE OF ALL OF THE DRINKS. FOR THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF YEARS, BEER WAS MADE AT HOME BY WOMEN, TO BE CONSUMED BY WOMEN AND CHILDREN–IT WAS ACTUALLY A SOURCE OF NUTRIENTS FOR MANY HOUSEHOLDS. WOMEN CREATED THE CRAFT OF BEER, AND FOR MOST OF HUMAN HISTORY THAT IS WHO YOU’D BUY IT FROM: MANY WOMEN MADE ADDITIONAL INCOME BY BREWING AND SELLING BEER FROM HOME. IT WASN’T UNTIL THE ERA OF INDUSTRIALIZATION THAT BEER BEGAN TO BE BREWED IN FACTORIES. AND ONCE BEER WAS BEING BREWED ON A LARGE SCALE, IT MADE TO START MARKETING IT TO ALL THE MALE FACTORY WORKERS WHO SUDDENLY HAD EXTRA INCOME. HENCE AN AGGRESSIVE MARKETING CAMPAIGN TO RE-BRAND BEER, A DRINK INTRINSICALLY TIED WITH WOMEN’S HISTORY, AS A ‘MASCULINE’ BEVERAGE.
EVEN BETTER, FEMALE BREWSTERS WERE THE ORIGINAL WICKED OLD WITCH. THE TROPES WE COMMONLY ASSOCIATE WITH STEREOTYPICAL WITCHES ARE ACTUALLY BASED ON THE TRADITIONAL BREWSTER. CAULDRONS & HOT STEAMING POTIONS = BEER BREWING. THE WITCH’S HAT: BELIEVE IT OR NOT POINTY HATS WERE ACTUALLY WORN BY BREWSTERS WHEN SELLING THEIR PRODUCT AT MARKETS: THE ENORMOUS HEADGEAR HELPED THEM STAND OUT, AND CLEARLY TOLD EVERYONE ‘YO MOTHERFUCKA GET YOUR BEER HERE’.
CATS AS FAMILIARS: CATS WERE COMMONLY USED TO PREVENT RODENTS FROM GETTING INTO THE WHEAT. EVEN THE BROOMSTICK IS RELATED TO BEER: A BUNDLE OF TWIGS RESEMBLING A BROOM WAS USED AS AD FOR ALEHOUSES
so basically, beer is the ultimate woman’s and witch’s drink
REBLOG ME
fuck u guys, i didn’t spend 20 min fact checking for 3 notes
ok right links fine
i was probably drunk when i wrote this. best i can remember:
all these whiny bastards complaining about my taste in caps lock. I rewrote it for you:
*Sighs heavily and re-cracks knuckles*
Beer is traditionally a woman’s drink, it is the most female of all of The Drinks. For thousands of years, beer was made at home by women, to be consumed by women and children—it was actually a source of nutrients for many households. Women created the craft of beer, and for most of human history that is who you’d buy it from: many women made additional income by brewing and selling beer from home. It wasn’t until the era of industrialization that beer began to be brewed in factories. And once beer was being brewed on a large scale, it made sense to start marketing it to all the male factory workers who suddenly had extra income. Hence an aggressive marketing campaign to re-brand beer, a drink intrinsically tied with women’s history, as a ‘masculine’ beverage.
final bit:
Even better, female brewters were the original wicked old witch. The tropes we commonly associate with stereotypical witches are actually based on the traditional brewster. Cauldrons & hot steaming potions = beer brewing. The witch’s hat: believe it or not pointy hats were actually worn by brewsters when selling their product at markets: the enormous headgear helped them stand out, and clearly told everyone ‘yo motherfucka get your beer here’.
Cats as familiars: cats were commonly used to prevent rodents from getting into the wheat. Even the broomstick is related to beer: a bundle of twigs resembling a broom was used as advertising for alehouses.
so yeah, beer = witch’s brew. other things to check out:
Fermented low-alcohol beverages being the prime source of safe drinking water, for the whole family, for much of human history.
Beer, women, and the invention of the drinking straw (trivia, the oldest known straw is Sumerian, 5000 years old, made of gold and lapis lazuli. )
Monks horning in on the female-dominated brewing economy, the medieval church persecuting female brewsters
Monks adding hops (and making beer gross) in order to lower their libido (and to avoid the temptation of gay sex)
Dionysus, god of winemaking, and his raving, drunken madwomen followers, the Maenads.
Or any of a long list of goddesses associated w/ beer. Tenenet, the ancient egyptian goddess of childbearing & beer brewing. The earliest beer recipe, found in a 3900 year old poem honoring Ninkasi, patron goddess of brewing
And that’s all for now folks. Happy drinking’
no one ever reblogs this version and i wish they would
From September 19-26, 2016, join GLAAD in recognizing the bisexual community for Bisexual Awareness Week, including Celebrate Bisexuality Day on September 23.
Question of Smoke 