If I haven’t already outed myself as a “fandom old” with the title, I’m about to right now: There was a point within the last 10 years when femslash was such a minority and so frequently dismissed by het and boyslash fans alike that ship wars within F/F fandom were actually rare. Likewise, femslash’s demographic was unique. It was mostly populated by queer women, whereas both M/M and M/F were populated by predominantly straight women.
As a result of the dynamics mentioned above, you had a lot of overlap between femslash ships, even within fandoms for a single show. People got along, and often multishipped, because 1) OMG more than two girls?? 2) social media hadn’t become the haven for trollish behavior that it is today, and 3) there was minimal investment in seeing their readings of the text reflected onscreen.
That thing, in particular, was a thirty dollar Barnes & Noble gift certificate. I was still too young for a part-time job, so I didn’t have this kind of spending cash on me, ever. I felt like a god.
Drunk with power, I fancy-stepped my way to my local B&N. I was ready to choose new books based solely on the most important of qualities…BADASS COVER ART. I walked away with a handful of paperbacks, most of which were horrible (I’m looking at you, Man-Kzin Wars III) or simply forgettable.
One book did not disappoint. I fell down the rabbit hole into a series that proved to be as badass as the cover art promised (Again, Man-Kzin Wars III, way to drop the ball on that one). With more than a dozen books in the series, I devoured them. I bought cassette tapes of ballads sung by bards in the stories. And the characters. Oh, the characters. I loved them. Gryphons, mages, but most importantly, lots of women. Different kinds of women. So many amazing women. I looked up to them, wrote bad fiction that lifted entire portions of dialogue and character descriptions, dreamed of writing something that the author would include in an anthology.
This year I decided in a fit of nostalgia to revisit the books I loved so damn much. I wanted to reconnect with my old friends…
…and I found myself facing Mary Sues. Lots of them. Perfect, perfect, perfect. A fantasy world full of Anakin Skywalkers and Nancy Drews and Wesley Crushers. I felt crushed. I had remembered such complex, deep characters and didn’t see those women in front of me at all anymore. Where were those strong women who kept me safe through the worst four years of my life?
Which led me to an important realization as I soldiered on through book after book. That’s why I needed them. Because they were Mary Sues. These books were not written to draw my attention to all the ugly bumps and whiskers of the real world. They were somewhere to hide. I was painfully aware that I was being judged by my peers and adults and found lacking. I was a fuckup. And sometimes a fuckup needs to feel like a Mary Sue. As an adult, these characters felt a little thin because they lacked the real world knowledge I, as an adult, had learned and earned. But that’s the thing…these books weren’t FOR this current version of myself. Who I am now doesn’t need a flawless hero because I’m comfortable with the idea that valuable people are also flawed.
There is a reason that most fanfiction authors, specifically girls, start with a Mary Sue. It’s because girls are taught that they are never enough. You can’t be too loud, too quiet, too smart, too stupid. You can’t ask too many questions or know too many answers. No one is flocking to you for advice. Then something wonderful happens. The girl who was told she’s stupid finds out that she can be a better wizard than Albus Dumbledore. And that is something very important. Terrible at sports? You’re a warrior who does backflips and Legolas thinks you’re THE BEST. No friends? You get a standing ovation from Han Solo and the entire Rebel Alliance when you crash-land safely on Hoth after blowing up the Super Double Death Star. It’s all about you. Everyone in your favorite universe is TOTALLY ALL ABOUT YOU.
I started writing fanfiction the way most girls did, by re-inventing themselves.
Mary Sues exist because children who are told they’re nothing want to be everything.
As a girl, being “selfish” was the worst thing you could be. Now you live in Narnia and Prince Caspian just proposed marriage to you. Why? Your SELF is what saved everyone from that sea serpent. Plus your hair looks totally great braided like that.
In time, hopefully, these hardworking fanfiction authors realize that it’s okay to be somewhere in the middle and their characters adjust to respond to that. As people grow and learn, characters grow and learn. Turns out your Elven Mage is more interesting if he isn’t also the best swordsman in the kingdom. Not everyone needs to be hopelessly in love with your Queen for her to be a great ruler. There are all kinds of ways for people to start owning who they are, and embracing the things that make them so beautifully weird and complicated.
Personally, though, I think it’s a lot more fun learning how to trust yourself and others if you all happen to be riding dragons.
Mary Sues exist because children who are told they’re nothing want to be everything.
A girl making herself the hero of her own story is a radical act. Stop shaming girls for doing it. Stop shaming yourself for it.
Oh. Hey. That’s another thing about ageism in fandom-
How many of you have looked around at the fic and art being created by your fellow fans and looked at your own and winced, wondering how all of these other people could be so GOOD AT IT, and whether or not you should just give up now ‘cause you “clearly” don’t have the same talent as they do?
Chances are, if you’re a teenager, the works you are looking at were created by someone six to fifteen years older than you. They probably fell into fandom at about your age, and the works they produced at that time probably looked a lot like the ones you’re making now. They aren’t naturally more talented than you- they’ve just been working at their craft for far longer.
KEEP THE PEN IN YOUR HAND. You can be as good, or better, than ANYONE you see out there. I promise you, anyone you’re a fan of had a point in their life where their work was far less impressive than yours. You just need time, and practice.
And remember, we love this stuff for the same reasons you love this stuff.
That’s why we’re here.
Exactly this.
The shit I wrote at age 15 was terrible, but I was enthused so I kept at it. And kept at it. And now I seem to have forgotten to stop.
Anyway: Keep writing. Get yourself a good beta and a good cheerleader. These can be both, but a good beta will make you be a *better* writer. If your writing doesn’t improve after six months, if they never point out any errors or things that need to be fixed at all and you’re still not happy with your writing, keep your cheerleader and find a better beta to match.
This. I cannot stress the importance of having a good beta. Even if you’re well past your teenage years, even if you’re been writing for a decade or more… having a second pair of eyes look at something before you post it can be the difference between someone reading and reccing your story, and hitting the back button because it hurts too much to make it past the first paragraph.
(Because yeah – in a lot of cases, I will totally “nope” out of a poorly edited story. Sorry.)
ALL OF THIS. So many of the people who go “wow, I can’t believe you’re still in fandom at your age, you clearly have no life” fail to realize that probably a lot of their favorite fics/fanart are created by people who are 30, 40, even 50+. People who have been doing this for years, plus have life experience to put into their work that teens or even 22-year-olds just don’t have yet. And have been actively working to improve over the years.
Yes, this! I’m in my mid-30s. I started writing when I was about nine years old, first wrote fanfic when I was 14, and have been in fandom continuously since I was 20. That is a lot of practice (and I look forward to getting decades more! :D)
Some of my favorite content creators have been in fandom since the 1970s and are still creating work. I’ve been in fandom since 1998 and refuse to stop, because fandom changed my life.
I started writing at 11, folks. None of it is on the web, nor gonna be. But you know, I put the first fanfics I wrote in my 20s out there and they’re still out there because they were the best I could do at the time. If you want to write it, write it. And if no one else likes it, as long as you do, at least one person does! TL;DR If you’re having fun, keep doing it!
Do you ever think about the fact that someday all that may exist of a source material is a piece of fanfic and that people will find it and think that THAT’S the source material?
Or they know its fic (they’ve learned to recognize the genre through decades of clever research) and spend the next 20 years trying to reconstruct the source material – with sonetimes frighteningly accurate, sonetimes ridiculous results. From time to time new fic or fragments of the original are dug up so they can check (and make fun of eacher for being so hilariously wrong).
Which is basically what medieval philologists (and comparative historic linguists for languages) have always been doing.
I appreciate the fact that you add intelligent and insightful commentary to my ridiculous wine-fueled posts thank you 🙂
Wine-fueled posts are the best posts.
I actually have a weird kind of longing to read sone of those hypothetical debates. It would make an awesome kind of meta-fanfic
I think we need to normalize the idea of marrying friends. I don’t mean in a “the best romantic relationships come from the best friendships” type way, though I do believe that’s true. I mean in a “I have zero romantic feelings for you, but I would totally spend the rest of my life committed to a future where you are my primary partner and maybe even raise a family together” type way.
Like, I don’t think it should be an aromantic-exclusive option, or a plan B when you and your best friend are still single at 40 and want to take yourselves out of the dating market.
I’ve heard it mostly as that backup plan, that “if I don’t find anyone, I’ll just marry Trish haha”, and I don’t think that’s even what I’m talking about normalizing. That’s a secondary outcome, seen as “giving up” on finding “real love”, and even if a pair of friends go for it, it’s plagued with this general feeling of “sub par”.
What I mean is that marrying a best friend (or having a committed intimate or emotional platonic relationship) should be seen as just as worth doing as marrying someone you’re in love with. It should be normal for teenagers to try as many committed friendships as they do romantic relationships. It should be normal for someone to say “this is my best friend and if everything works out, maybe we’ll move in together later” or “Trish and I have been roommates for two years now. We’re considering adopting soon, or Trish might carry a child!”
And as an aromantic person, it shouldn’t be strange for me to say “I prefer friendship to romance”. People should hear that and nod their heads like “that’s understandable. John feels the same.”
Hell, I see so many people expressing that they prefer their friends’ company to their romantic partner’s. “My friends understand me better and I think treat me better” and they’re expected to go home to this person, to marry and have kids with this person. It’s bizarre to me. Your platonic feelings for your friend aren’t inferior to your romantic feelings for your boyfriend, and if one of them treats you better than the other, I think you should probably rethink which one is your primary partner.
I also find it strange that it’s not more common in poly spaces for a friend to be considered a legitimate “partner”. In a world where friendships were just as likely to bloom into life partnerships as romantic relationships, I think polyamory would be much more commonplace. “I committed to Josephine about a year ago and now we own a home, but I fell in love with Joe about six months ago and we’re all trying to make it work.” Josephine shouldn’t have to worry about her partner leaving her for Joe just because their bond is romantic and therefore the “sensible” relationship to choose over the other.
I’m just ranting at this point, but I reiterate: committed friendships should not be seen as strange and “sad”, but as a legitimate option for a lifetime commitment. Not just for aromantics like myself, but for everyone. It should just be normal.
And not to be presumptuous, but I don’t think I’m alone in this thinking
wait seriously????? people were salty about this?!
supergirl fandom: in which it’s totally cool for kara to pose as cat in a letter to cat’s estranged son but not cool for james to be like “hey maybe basic human rights are called basic for a reason” apparently
literally no one thought this?
not so much in meta, but certainly in gifsets and sort of as a comparison to other stuff Kara has done for Cat, lumped in, I’ve seen implicit (and, rarely I admit but part of that is sample size/who i follow) support of Kara’s well-intended meddling
and like. as Cat’s friend I can buy it. but as Cat’s employee, I really can’t?
i’m not trying to go after anyone. i think fandom’s response just a reflection of the show’s own ambivalence. Supergirl The Series still trying to find its own moral compass, and i’m super pleased that they literally had an entire episode about that! but it often seems like the show wants to sort of have its cake and eat it too in terms of ~the discourse~ in a way that isn’t feasible. Kara, as a protagonist, can’t always be right. but Supergirl, a concept, kind of needs to be because she’s Better Than That. and even now that they’re genuinely exploring that on a thematic and plot level, there’s still a sort of… implied approval of Kara’s actions both on the show and in fandom that’s largely inescapable. the question is how we deal with it.
… unless you meant no one thought James was out of line. I’m like a month behind so I never saw any actual reactions to the episode in real time and haven’t gone back through my likes to unearth anything i put aside blind for fear of spoiling myself yet, so. if that is the case then complaint redacted.
i did mean james being out of line, because yeah, people fanwanked the hell out of kara sending that letter, but i also think i’ll leave you to watch this week’s episode before i say any more about what you’ve said there.
as for james calling the DEO guantanamo bay, i basically passed out from happiness. any other opinions on that can go jump in a lake.
ok see part of what i see as the problem with James (i mean a lot of this applies for Winn too, don’t get me wrong, except with winn it’s problems, as in very much plural and there are too many to name) is that he only complained about this treatment for the unpowered human, and once they let Lord go he didn’t bring it up again. Not about Leslie, not about any of the aliens, including Kara’s aunt even when they tortured her (and again, this completely goes for Winn too, but there’s even more i can say about winn but that’s a conversation for a different time).
For some reason, James thinks that Lord isn’t the threat comparable to
all the other prisoners the DEO has in custody and he’s right: he’s much, much worse.
The DEO (namely Alex) pulled Maxwell Lord off the street when it wasn’t their jurisdiction, and yeah that’s gonna bite them in the ass, and it might have been the right call because they couldn’t have woken up Kara without his tech expertise, but there’s going to be consequences for those actions, and there should be, because actions have consequences. And the thing about this is that it’s easy for James to say Kara needs to Be Better and lecture about all of thisbut here’s the thing. James is the one who doesn’t have to pay for his ideals.
Because there has been consequences for letting Maxwell Lord go. We’ve just seen the start last episode, because the only reason Red Kryptonite ever existed or affected Kara was because he created it. If he was still locked up, Kara wouldn’t have had her mind warped, her choices and agency taken away from her. Kara is the one who will pay the price for James’s ideals. Even with Cat, it’s her reputation and name out there when she critiques/endorses/denounces Kara, she’s the one who just got threw out of a building, she knows that it might happen again, she’s right there with her as Kara goes up against Livewire. Alex is the one who’s going to put herself in the line of fire in an attempt to protect Kara and J’onn, and then J’onn was the one to transform in an attempt to protect Alex and Kara from herself. They are the ones experiencing the consequences for their ideals, because that’s part of why they’re meeting people with ideals in high risk jobs are unusual-they are lofty and moral and so so so hard to maintain because there’s a price to pay if you have them.
Part of James’s problem is that he’s acting as if things hasn’t really changed since he’s left Metropolis. He’s not in the thick of it really anymore, no longer a photojournalist out in the field, risking his life right next to Superman because in that situation, he would be. Except for the time Kara’s powers blew out, and the kind of corporate espionage thing with Catco, he’s been in the office all the times Kara has been putting herself into danger (so has winn, but this isn’t about him). And he’s been putting Kara a bit on a pedestal, treating her a little like a female clark too, because he knew she was capable of anger, sure, but he didn’t know the extent of that anger, he’s never seen her in the field or seen her use heat vision.
They’ve discussed anger but I don’t think it really registers with James, just that quote that’s like “you are so brave and quiet i forget you are suffering,” i think he’s just so used to Clark, who sure might have a little bit of sadness or anger about what happened to Krypton, but there’s a huge difference between being angry aboutlosing a concept, and actually losing something that you’ve known and loved, and we all joke that Kara’s a huge puppy, but we also know that she’s more than that and I’m not sure if James really understood that until this episode.
also when kara sent that letter, she knew there’d be consequences. she took the risk any way “i’m going to make your life a living hell” “it’s worth it. family always is.” she was kind of out of line, but she didn’t blame it on anyone else, and the only one who’d suffer from writing the letter is Kara herself.
Question of Smoke 