fuckyeahasexual:

First off, you need to stop fearing you are making someone else suffer. You need to respect your own feelings enough to allow yourself to be the way you are. You are not a burden, or something to be tolerated. Your own suffering is just as worthy of attention.

Next look at your sex repulsion and examine if there’s a why. There might be, there might not be. I’ve noticed a few years into healthy relationship that I didn’t like changing for bed in front of them because it was as a safely thing I did when I was in an abusive relationship. Those behaviors can change if you trust your partner and are in a good place. That can lower your sex repulsion without triggering it or forcing yourself to get over it.

Once you allow yourself to be depressed and sex repulsed, I’ve personally noticed that the weight of those two is more bearable because you stop shaming yourself for it. Once you stop fighting yourself, you can mess around more with your partner //if// that’s what you really want. This will likely be in the form of finding things that don’t trigger your sex repulsion and/or first healing from abuse before you force yourself into a situation you don’t want.

Again, start at a place of self acceptance. You aren’t ever gonna be able to “”fix”” yourself. But you can find a way to live a life that makes you happy.

And don’t be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes depression needs a therapist, sometimes it needs medication, sometimes you can figure out how to stop beating yourself up in the first place. Often times it’s a combination of things.

Please don’t start at a “how do I fix myself because I could annoy someone else”. Work from a “I want a happier life, and to accept myself.”