So a tiny story: on Black Friday a few weeks ago I went to Gamestop to buy my brother a game for Christmas, and I noticed this older man was watching me like a hawk. He was loitering around the front of the store without really buying anything, and every time I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye he was looking at me. I went to look at the PS4 games, and he was looking at something right behind me. I checked out the Nintendo games, and he was looking at them too. I was the only woman in the store, by the way.
By the time I got in line to pay he was loitering at the front of the store again, and I just had that feeling that he was going to try and take the game I just bought, or steal my purse, as soon as I left the store. OR, he was going to try and follow me home. And I know I don’t have to explain that terror to any woman reading this, but all I could think was that I’m in this Gamestop alone with at least twenty other men and something is about to happen. I’m beginning to freak out, to the point where I’ve just pulled my pepper spray out of my purse and into the pocket of my coat.
So there I am, next in line to pay, and there is this GIGANTIC dudebro right behind me, and I say gigantic as a 6 foot tall woman. He says, “Ma’am? Don’t be offended, but would it be alright if I walked you to your car?” and I was like “Are you serious?” and he was like “There are some weird guys in here right now. Have you noticed that guy watching you?” and then I showed the dudebro the pepper spray in my pocket and he was like “Right on. Would you still let me walk you to your car?” and I said yes.
So I paid, and waited while HE paid, and he walked me to my car. And just as I was getting in, the weird guy who’d been loitering came out of the store, saw me and my dudebro, and turned around and walked away in the opposite direction.
In short: men who recognize that women are unsafe in dark alleys, college campuses, grocery stores, gas stations and retail stores and do something about it are the kind of quality men that this world needs more of.
You have to remind men that they don’t have power over you and you don’t owe them attention, emotional investment, love, time, or consideration just because they like you or because he’s a “nice guy”.
There are a lot of white women relogging this.
You have to remind white people that they don’t have power over you and you don’t owe them attention, emotional investment, free teaching, love, time, or consideration just because they like you/your culture or because they’re an “ally”.
Reblog this too.
I’m reblogging this with a small addition after reading through way too many of the previous comments, some of which were quite aggressive or vitriolic, and some that were genuinely confused and could have needed a kind pointer.
Fellow white people: the second and third part of this post are an addition to the first in that the core idea is the same. If you agree with the first sentiment, -that a woman does not owe a man anything for being “a nice guy”, then a black woman does not owe a white woman anything for being “an ally”. It is meant to have you look at yourself in comparison to other groups, the same way you look at other groups in comparison to yourself. Basically, check your privilege now that you have a chance to see the same aspects of different situations.
I do recommend that you don’t go and read through other comments though, it was quite demotivating.
Mind if I hop on this to say cis ppl arent entitled to trans ppl’s love, trust, or to know about their body in addition to the previous points
Let them know!!
All of this.
If anyone still has issues understanding this, it’s simple: nobody owes you anything for being a basic decent human being, or if you’re interested in them. And other than the “nice guy” bit it also works for feminism. I’ve seen people ask “Why be an ally if women / black people / transgender people are so angry and I don’t get anything for it?” and the idea is simple, again: because they’re people and deserve respect as people. Attention and favor are nice, but that’s a bonus. The crux of this is that they’re people, and what’s happening to them is not okay. They don’t owe you anything for that.
👆👆👆THIS 👆👆👆
If you are an ally because you want to be praised for being an ally, you’re not actually an ally.
Question of Smoke 