15 year old Alex Danvers, hiding in the school bathroom with her little sister helping her wipe off mud and grit. Kara had a small panic attack when the fire alarm went off and ended up face first in a fresh puddle. Everyone laughed at her (everyone always laughs at her) but Alex threatened to start breaking bones if they didn’t shut up and she was able to get Kara on her feet and moving. Kara clung to her, and Alex couldn’t help but snap at her a bit in annoyance for getting mud on her shirt. This of course just makes Kara cry harder and Alex has to close her eyes and count to 10 to calm down. When the alarm stopped Alex dragged her sister in ahead of the slow moving shuffle and locked them away in the bathroom to scrub her off.
Alex skipping softball to take her sister for ice cream because she’s still a little weepy and Mom will kill her if she brings her home like this. Kara insists on holding hands – which Alex /hates/ – but sensory things are weird for her in moments like this so Alex lets her do it anyway. By the time Kara finishes her third cone she’s no longer so affected, and they can finally go home.
The house is dark when they get there, though her mom is home. She keeps it dark a lot these days. Ever since her dad died, Mom has felt more like a shell than a person. She’s staring our the window unseeing; a part of Alex thinks she’s still waiting for Dad’s car to pull into the driveway. She doesn’t notice they’re there until Kara gently grabs her arm.
Eliza jolts like she’s been shocked, whipping to look at them. she looks so confused for an uncomfortable amount of time before smiling vacantly at Kara, only to frown when she sees the long dried mud.
Kara explains, Eliza hugs her and says it’s okay and for her to go upstairs. Alex feels that deep drip of dread creep down her spine.
“How could you let this happen, Alexandra?”
“It’s not like I can control a fire drill, Mom!”
But Eliza doesn’t listen, shakes her head,
“You are the only one she has protecting her when she’s at school. You have to do a better job! She needs you!”
Alex wants to say that she needs someone, too, but she knows that’s not the right answer. So she just nods and stomps over to the stairs. She looks back at her mother only to find she’s back to staring vacantly out the window again.
This does such a brilliant job of back-engineering Alex and Eliza’s personalities and relationship. It seems so simple on the surface but this entire scene speaks to and informs so much of the subtle complexities of both women.
I came because I wished to see you again, Alex. To say goodbye. You have brought me much joy in my time on your Earth, Alex. You and your friends showed me strange and wonderful things.
yo whaddup I want Alura constantly hugging Alex and volunteering to help her for tiny things and smiling at her endlessly because this is the person who kept her baby girl safe, who protected her all these years
I want Alex feeling guiltier and guiltier about it until she breaks and yells “I killed your sister!”
and she expects something, maybe a flinch or a slap, but instead Alura just gives her the saddest little smile and says, “No, little one. I killed my sister. You protected yours.”
Like.. filling that hole in her heart where Maggie used to be via adopting a kid just seems like the most unhealthy coping mechanism and a recipe for disaster and emotional trauma for the kid. Alex needs some gd therapy to deal with her parental neglect and her alcoholism if we wanna call it that/basically just all her bad coping mechanisms that keep her from actually coping. And then she needs a few months or a year and then some to heal from that emotional mess with Maggie and coming out.
It isn’t just Maggie, tbh.
Alex has had a big year, that involved lot of people leave her, especially now with Kara going. Maggie and Kara are the big ones, but she’s also lost any leads on finding her father (who told her she wouldn’t understand why he was working for Cadmus until she was a parent, like, hello motivation right there).
But, yeah, I could def see her latching onto getting a kid to justify leaving Maggie as part of the reasoning, or a reason for it needing to happen sooner.
And, it def isn’t a good idea for her or for any kid brought in.
At this point I ship Alex with Therapy and not much else.
I broke up with Maggie because I wanted to be a mother. And one day, I will be. You know, whether I’m with somebody or if I’m doing it by myself. I know that’s what I want. And I know that that is who I am. Just like I know that I’m the person that’s gonna jump the building to stop the bad guy. And I keep wondering. I mean, can those two people coexist? And is that fair? Is it fair to the person that I’m coming home to?
Look, you may be the person who jumps the building to stop the bad guy, but you’re also one of the most intelligent, and intuitive women I know. You’re an incredible agent. And I know you’re going to be an incredible mother. So when the time is right, I know you’ll make the choice that’s right for you.
Question of Smoke 