alex danvers needs a hug – Question of Smoke

purplesaline:

karalovesallthegirls:

15 year old Alex Danvers, hiding in the school bathroom with her little sister helping her wipe off mud and grit. Kara had a small panic attack when the fire alarm went off and ended up face first in a fresh puddle. Everyone laughed at her (everyone always laughs at her) but Alex threatened to start breaking bones if they didn’t shut up and she was able to get Kara on her feet and moving. Kara clung to her, and Alex couldn’t help but snap at her a bit in annoyance for getting mud on her shirt. This of course just makes Kara cry harder and Alex has to close her eyes and count to 10 to calm down. When the alarm stopped Alex dragged her sister in ahead of the slow moving shuffle and locked them away in the bathroom to scrub her off.

Alex skipping softball to take her sister for ice cream because she’s still a little weepy and Mom will kill her if she brings her home like this. Kara insists on holding hands – which Alex /hates/ – but sensory things are weird for her in moments like this so Alex lets her do it anyway. By the time Kara finishes her third cone she’s no longer so affected, and they can finally go home.

The house is dark when they get there, though her mom is home. She keeps it dark a lot these days. Ever since her dad died, Mom has felt more like a shell than a person. She’s staring our the window unseeing; a part of Alex thinks she’s still waiting for Dad’s car to pull into the driveway. She doesn’t notice they’re there until Kara gently grabs her arm.

Eliza jolts like she’s been shocked, whipping to look at them. she looks so confused for an uncomfortable amount of time before smiling vacantly at Kara, only to frown when she sees the long dried mud.

Kara explains, Eliza hugs her and says it’s okay and for her to go upstairs. Alex feels that deep drip of dread creep down her spine.

“How could you let this happen, Alexandra?”

“It’s not like I can control a fire drill, Mom!”

But Eliza doesn’t listen, shakes her head,

“You are the only one she has protecting her when she’s at school. You have to do a better job! She needs you!”

Alex wants to say that she needs someone, too, but she knows that’s not the right answer. So she just nods and stomps over to the stairs. She looks back at her mother only to find she’s back to staring vacantly out the window again.

This does such a brilliant job of back-engineering Alex and Eliza’s personalities and relationship. It seems so simple on the surface but this entire scene speaks to and informs so much of the subtle complexities of both women.