
This rotisserie chicken looks comfortable
I’ve seriously had the first thousand words of this sitting in my drafts since January, but ¯_(ツ)_/¯ apparently I knocked something loose at the holiday market? idek.
Anyway, here is 4k of Well-Adjusted Adult Jedi Ben Solo having a very bad time in the worst parallel universe. More to come, probably?
1. the islandSometimes, Ben decided, the Force could be downright vindictive. All he did was think, for the barest moment, that it would be nice to be alone for a little while, and – boom. Wish granted, in the worst, most baffling way.
In the days after he was stranded, Ben did his best to piece together the sequence of events that got him there. So far, it went something like this:
Morning reblog, in case you missed it yesterday.
A lot of the time when people give advice intended to relieve anxiety, they suggest doing “relaxing” things like drawing, painting, knitting, taking a bubble bath, coloring in one of those zen coloring books, or watching glitter settle to the bottom of a jar.
This advice is always well-intentioned, and I’m not here to diss people who either give it or who benefit from it. But it has never, ever done shit for me, and this is because it goes about resolving anxiety in the completely wrong way.
THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO when suffering from anxiety is to do a “relaxing” thing that just enables your mind to dwell and obsess more on the thing that’s bothering you. You need to ESCAPE from the dwelling and the obsession in order to experience relief.
You can drive to a quiet farm, drive to the beach, drive to a park, or anywhere else, but as someone who has tried it all many, many times, trust me–it’s a waste of gas. You will just end up still sad and stressed, only with sand on your butt. You can’t physically escape your sadness. Your sadness is inside of you. To escape, you need to give your brain something to play with for a while until you can approach the issue with a healthier frame of mind.
People who have anxiety do not need more time to contemplate, because we will use it to contemplate how much we suck.
In fact, you could say that’s what anxiety is–hyper-contemplating. When we let our minds run free, they run straight into the thorn bushes. Our minds are already running, and they need to be controlled. They need to be given something to do, or they’ll destroy everything, just like an overactive husky dog ripping up all the furniture.
Therefore, I present to you:
THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHEN ANXIOUS
–Go on a walk
–Watch a sunset, watch fish in an aquarium, watch glitter, etc.
–Go anywhere where the main activity is sitting and watching
–Draw, color, do anything that occupies the hands and not the mind
–Do yoga, jog, go fishing, or anything that lets you mentally drift
–Do literally ANYTHING that gives you great amounts of mental space to obsess and dwell on things.
THINGS YOU SHOULD DO WHEN ANXIOUS:
–Do a crossword puzzle, Sudoku, or any other mind teaser game. Crosswords are the best.
–Write something. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece. Write the Top 10 Best Restaurants in My City. Rank celebrities according to Best Smile. Write some dumb Legolas fanfiction and rip it up when you’re done. It’s not for publication, it’s a relief exercise that only you will see.
–Read something, watch TV, or watch a movie–as long as it’s engrossing. Don’t watch anything which you can run as background noise (like, off the top of my head, Say Yes to The Dress.) As weird as it seems, American Horror Story actually helps me a lot, because it sucks me in.
–Masturbate. Yes, I’m serious. Your mind has to concentrate on the mini-movie it’s running. It can’t run Sexy Titillating Things and All The Things That are Bothering Me at the same time. (…I hope. If it can, then…ignore this one.)
–Do math problems—literally, google “algebra problems worksheet” and solve them. If you haven’t done math since 7th grade this will really help you. I don’t mean with math, I mean with the anxiety.
–Play a game or a sport with someone that requires great mental concentration. Working with 5 people to get a ball over a net is a challenge which will require your brain to turn off the Sadness Channel.
–Play a video game, as long as it’s not something like candy crush or Tetris that’s mindless.
THINGS YOU SHOULD DO DURING PANIC ATTACKS ESPECIALLY:
–List the capitals of all the U.S. states
–List the capitals of all the European countries
–List all the shapes you can see. Or all the colors.
–List all the blonde celebrities you can think of.
–Pull up a random block of text and count all the As in it, or Es or whatever.
Now obviously, I am not a doctor. I am just an anxious person who has tried almost everything to help myself. I’ve finally realized that the stuff people recommend never works because this is a disorder that thrives on free time and free mental space. When I do the stuff I listed above, I can breathe again. And I hope it helps someone here too.
(Now this shouldn’t have to be said but if the “do nots” work for you then by all means do them. They’ve just never worked for me.)
This would’ve been great an hour ago
This is good advice for anxious peeps and peeps with anxious friends. Seems obvious now but I hadn’t thought about it this way before.
Then, I thank you for your service, but you’re dismissed, effective immediately. I hope you’ll comply. The United States does not want a war with Supergirl.
Then I trust you won’t start one.
Kara Danvers’s first Chanukah
They’re are on laundry duty while Eliza and Jeremiah clean the kitchen. Kara’s first proper Earth holiday, Thanksgiving, was as weird as all her other Earth-firsts. But, at least this one came with a great menu. Alex is measuring out the detergent while Kara dumps all of the table linens into the washer. She triple checks for anything red, remembering the look on Eliza’s face when she discovered one of Kara’s red socks had made it’s way into a load of whites.
“What’s the next holiday?”
“Chanukah,” Alex says absently, dumping the cap of detergent into the washer.
“Is that just for America, like Thanksgiving?”
“No,” Alex says, replacing the detergent lid and wiping her hands on the front of her jeans. “It’s a Jewish one. We light candles, play games, eat fried food, and get lame presents.”
“That sounds like a holiday we had on Krypton. Except for the fried food and presents. But any holiday where you eat french fries and mozzarella sticks sounds great.” Kara grins.
“Well, not those kinds of fried foods,” Alex motions for Kara to close the washer lid and, once she does, pushes in the dial on the machine so it starts.
“Then what kind?”
“Well, like. Latkes, and-”
“What’s a latke?”
“A potato pancake,” Alex sighs, trying not to get frustrated.
“Ohhh,” Kara nods, not sure if the image in her mind is right.
“Like a hashbrown from McDonalds, but not really,” Alex frowns and Kara’s eyes widen with delight. “There’s also sufganiyot. Not everyone has them, but our congregation does ‘cause the rabbi’s wife is Israeli.”
“And what are those?” Kara’s eyes are huge and Alex has to hold in a laugh. Kara is hands down the hungriest person alive.
“Israeli doughnuts,” she grins, because Kara’s eyes are practically sparkling.
“Oh, I love doughnuts.”
Before their first day back at school, Alex takes Kara aside and explains Christmas. It sounds like a wonderful holiday, too, and when Kara asks when they’ll get a tree, Alex cringes.
“We won’t.”
“But-”
“We’re Jewish. We don’t celebrate Christmas.”
“Oh. Like Easter?”
“Right,” Alex nods, hands stuffed in her pockets. “But, well. Everyone else celebrates it. So you’ll experience it.”
“Well that’s good,” Kara nods, “do they eat fried food, too?”
“I don’t think so. They eat ham?”
“Oh,” Kara frowns, tapping her chin, “clearly Jewish people have the better holiday.”
“Make sure you tell the kids at school that when they tease you for not celebrating,” Alex chuckles, patting Kara on the back.
The first night there’s a party at the synagogue. Everyone’s bringing their personal latke recipe, there’s a band and story time and a bunch of fun crafts. Kara’s been excited all week. The kids from Kara’s Hebrew school are far too cool and plan on ditching once the candles are lit, but Eliza has made Alex promise to stay with Kara for the whole evening.
Alex is bitter and grumpy, but perks up when Eliza hands her a big box.
“Pick one for each of us.”
“I want the Lego one,” Jeremiah calls from upstairs and Kara’s brows shoot up.
“What’s in there?”
“The chanukiyot. Menorahs,” Alex yanks the lid off of the box and Kara peers over her shoulder at the jumble of objects. “We’ve got a lot.”
“Oh, we light those each night!” Kara bounces around and sits cross-legged across the box from Alex.
“Yep,” Alex starts pulling them out, “we’ve always brought one for each of us to the synagogue’s party. Mom always picks them out though.”
As Alex takes out each chanukiah, Kara has to resist the urge to pick them up and look at them. They’re all beautiful, some are ornate and expensive looking, while others are simple and plain. A lot of them still have globs of white or blue wax stuck to the arms and Alex grumbles about being stuck cleaning them again this year.
“Do you like this one?” She holds up one that’s solid, without branches, and instead has a mosaic of different blue tiles, arranged to form a Star of David in the centre of both sides.
“It’s pretty,” Kara oohs appropriately.
“It’s one of mom’s favourites. You can take it this year,” Alex nods, setting it down firmly.
“I can?” Kara bites her lip.
“Yeah,” Alex says, looking briefly at Kara with a smile, “mom said one for each of us.”
“Right,” Kara nods, trembling with excitement.
“You remember how to do it?” Eliza says quietly to Kara. They’re all in the synagogue’s social hall. The rabbi is giving a little speech about miracles and ‘embodying the miracle of light in these times’. Kara can smell the latkes on the other side of the room, but right now, the task at hand is lighting the chanukiah.
There have to be at least 30 of them, all set up on the party tables lined with aluminium. Jeremiah and Eliza are to Kara’s left and Alex is to her right, closer to her friends who are still trying to get Alex to ditch with them.
“I got it,” Kara nods, holding the shamash in her right hand. Jeremiah passes his flame to Eliza, who passes it to Kara, and then with trembling fingers, Kara holds the light to the slender white candle on the far right of the chanukiah.
“That was the easy part,” Alex mutters, for Kara’s super-hearing only. “Blessings are up next.”
But Alex doesn’t get it. For Kara, the blessings are the easy part. She doesn’t have to gentle her voice, slow her words to be more precise. Her body is still a wild card, movements require so much focus, especially the ones that are delicate. Like lighting a candle.
Home. Krypton. It’s suddenly is less of a memory. The light of the chanukiah is almost like the light of Rao; the smells of food and fire and lamp oil; the blessings are ancient calls of gratitude. It’s close, so close it’s almost enough to bridge the gap, to make her forget she’s not home.
With her eyes closed, she can almost hear her mother’s voice at the very edge of the crowd, clear and firm and true. For a moment, she feels her mother’s hand in hers, warm and alive, comforting. But, when she opens her eyes and looks down, Eliza’s hand is grasping hers. And then Alex reaches out and takes her other hand.
Kara’s cheeks are wet from tears she had no idea she was crying. The candle lights blur in her vision and the mixed voices of the congregation picking up the final prayer shake her back to reality.
This is her first Chanukah.
Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech haolam, shehecheyanu v’kiy’manu v’higiyanu laz’man hazeh.
Thanks for joining me!
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

I’ve seen a handful of AUs where Harry is deaf and I love it but it also makes me laugh because I just imagine Tom Riddle monologuing in the Chamber of Secrets and finally turning to a confused Harry who just signs “I’m deaf” and Tom is just like ??????
Voldemort isn’t present Harry’s 3rd year because his spirit is too busy learning sign language because god forbid he can’t monologue to Harry Potter come 4th year when he finally has a body.
Oh my god,
It took Voldemort two years, because remember, the Tom in Chamber of Secrets is the part of Voldemort’s soul that lives inside his horcrux. Once the diary is destroyed, that soul piece goes, too. I don’t think Voldemort gets it back. (Though that could raise some interesting possibilities…well in any event I’m pretty sure he doesn’t get it back.)
BUT he was possessing Quirrell in Harry’s first year. He absolutely knew Harry was deaf, and honestly I imagine it took a while for most of the teachers to learn British sign language (most of them probably just use that charm to make letters/words appear and float in midair; Snape refuses to do even that and Harry has to watch him like a hawk because he ALSO doesn’t care that Harry needs line of sight for lip reading), and Quirrell, out of a combination of his nervous nature and the side effects of his possession…well I doubt he was very much up for learning or practicing a new language, let alone one that requires reasonably precise finger movements.
All of this is to say, please picture an increasingly annoyed ghost Voldemort hanging out for not one but TWO GODDAMNED YEARS learning BSL to that Harry Goddamned Potter will understand him PERFECTLY the next time he wants to monologue.
God this is so extra, I love it
See this is why disability representation improves literally everything.
Hiya!
And all good! The genre differences can be really significant in publishing! For example erotica books are: less likely to be published in search results, less likely to be listed in libraries, less likely to be listed on multiple publishing platforms, and more likely to be throttled/restricted in sales. They’re also less likely to be found on ‘people also read’ lists.
That’s just the marketing side. In terms of the reading side, the general consensus is that people who primarily read published m/m romance (instead of say, fanfiction like the rest of us who read a mix, or mainly only fanfiction), strongly do not like erotica peeking into their romance series. Erotica can be defined by: the number of sex scenes in the case of non-BDSM, or the book being primarily sex-focused, or it can be defined by the presence of BDSM (though this is a grey area, some people will automatically call any book with BDSM elements ‘erotica’ even though that’s not true at all).
Idk about you, but people like myself used to fanfiction are happy to bounce back and forth between the two, regardless of the series, and don’t always see a really distinct difference. But that’s because fanfiction regularly breaks the formula (or isn’t even aware there is a formula) for the sake of self-satisfaction and what feels right or what feels most self-indulgent or for whatever reasons!
But in publishing…I mean you can set about to break the rules if you want, but it’s generally discouraged, and anyway, in Perth Shifters I wanted to see what it was like if I mostly followed the rules. It’s not as natural to me as writing fanfiction or Fae Tales, and the kink is certainly a lot lighter than what I normally write!
I do think it’s partly one of the reasons why I am so drawn to fanfiction and fanfiction-style serials in the first place though. Because I like heavily character-focused erotica, with solid worldbuilding, and some romance, and that doesn’t really neatly fit into many categories in the current publishing world.
As soon as you have the erotica, they (many publishers and many readers) want to turf it into pulp erotica. It’s as though…once you have a focus on explicit sex, you can no longer actually have a story, or people don’t realise you can have one. But I don’t know why this is the case, when you can see explicit violence in a ton of stories that still have plot (i.e. Game of Thrones). Just because there’s a lot of something explicit – violence or sex – doesn’t mean it’s by default pulpy.
But unfortunately erotica as a published genre is still…thorny for a lot of people. And definitely for folks who consider themselves romance readers, which, when it comes to published books etc. is a very different world to people who also consider themselves erotica readers.
“fanfiction regularly breaks the formula (or isn’t even aware there is a formula)”
I’m not sure this is quite it – I think it’s more that fanfiction has its own formula, which just doesn’t map to anything that you can find in published fiction. @earlgreytea68 did a great post on fanfiction-as-a-genre (which I just spent, like, an hour going through my fandom tag to find, lol) that goes into this concept.
Fandom’s rules are obviously not as formalized or as strict as the rules for published fiction. But there are rules, and I know this because I’ve read fanfictions that aren’t written “like fanfiction” and… it’s weird! and noticeable! And – although fics like that can be a badly-needed breath of fresh air, sometimes it’s just annoying, because it’s like, I came here for fanfiction-qua-fanfiction and this is not meeting my expectations.
So, yes, from a fic reader’s perspective splitting up romance and erotica is bizarre. But it’s also true that we have our own things like h/c that totally cut across traditional genre lines and probably seem equally bizarre to outsiders. I mean there are published books that do fall into the h/c genre (obviously – like, Blackwood) but it isn’t something that people outside of fandom have a concept of as being its own specific thing. I think “erotica” is like that for us, in that it’s just not definitional in the same way.
Case in point, earlier today I saw a post about porn consumption in men vs women and I realized I have no idea how much porn I consume, because basically all my porn is delivered to me via fanfiction and I just don’t categorize fic that way in my head. I almost never go into a fic thinking, ah yes, this is porn, it’s Porn Time now. I can easily go for quite a while not encountering any explicit sex scenes at all without feeling anything lacking, and then on the other hand I once made a recs list for someone who was not in fandom and I had to really triple-check that I wasn’t letting anything through that might scare them off – I’d go back to a fic that I remembered as being tender romance and it’s like, 20% hardcore BDSM by volume, lol.
God, this post was meant to be really short and concise and basically just a link to that other post and it ballooned out of all control and ended up being not that. oooops.
Yes! Getting into m/m original for-profit fiction has been interesting. There’s a lot of overlap with slash fandom, but a lot of differences too.
I’m a lesbian and somehow I manage to walk down the street and not ogle women I find attractive, or cat call or degrade them, or touch them without permission, or interrupt their daily lives, it’s almost as if I’m treating them like human beings despite my attraction to them. What an insane concept.
omg same
We were arguing about dress code in a meeting at work. And while my department knows I’m queer the other departments did not. As people (men) were saying that women showing skin and wearing tight clothes was distracting. I spoke up finally and said.
“I’m attracted to women.”
Everyone turned and looked at me and I was like “uhhh” so I finished.
“I’m attracted to women and I can still do my job. Regardless of what someone in my class is wearing. I can still teach. So why can’t you?”
The men all stayed silent.